does not compute
Mon
23
June

A Japanese firm has produced a 38 cm (15 inch) tall robotic girlfriend that kisses on command, to go on sale in September for around $175, with a target market of lonely adult men.

Using her infrared sensors and battery power, the diminutive damsel named “EMA” puckers up for nearby human heads, entering what designers call its “love mode”.
...
“She’s very lovable and though she’s not a human, she can act like a real girlfriend.”

EMA, which stands for Eternal Maiden Actualization, can also hand out business cards, sing and dance, with Sega hoping to sell 10,000 in the first year.

by
posted at
9:14 am EDT

one-of-the-guys robot
Throw away your remote!  ROB can communicate wirelessly with any television, VCR, DVD player, stereo system, and gaming console, and will respond to voice commands.  Just set him on the couch and watch as he grunts, uses his fully articulated arms to pass the chips, and analyzes video input from a television screen to exclaim one of five phrases at the appropriate time (with up to 95% accuracy):
1. “They really need to start driving into the paint if they want to win this one.”
2. “Somebody better get that ump some glasses.
3. “INTERCEPTION. YES!”
4. “That guy’s on my fantasy team.  He has been something of a disappointment.”
5. “Mama, there goes that man!

dutiful Jewish daughter robot
SARA automatically calls your mother at a frequency you designate, and uses interactive voice-recognition technology to carry on a conversation based on up to 40 pre-recorded phrases you program into her.  Test users have had success with statements such as:
“Hi Mom, I was thinking of making brisket tonight.  Could you remind me of the recipe?”
“Yes, I’m wearing a sweater.  Yes, I’m wearing a bra under it.  No, Mom, I do not constantly walk around ‘with my nipples showing.’ “
“Well, his name is Ira, and he’s a cardiologist.”

gay best friend robot
If man’s best friend is a dog, a girl’s best friend is LANCE!  He can sing and dance, and is always there to listen to your problems. He also comes equipped with color-swatch matching technology: hold up two pieces of fabric and LANCE will shimmy if they complement each other, or cringe if they clash.

Coming to stores this fall, an upgraded model, CLINT, can also analyze visual and auditory input and choose one of 22 phrases appropriate for the situation, including:
“Oooh, the triple-lutz is coming up!  That one always makes me nerrrr-vous!”
“Sweetie, you know I love you, and I think you’re fabulous, but I cannot let you leave the house in those shoes.  No, no. No.”
“Shhhh, everybody!  This is the part where Daniel Craig walks out of the ocean in the short little shorts.”
“Darling, could you pass the Rocky Road?  Oh, I’m so bad!”
“Listen to me: he doesn’t deserve you.

Tags: sports, technology, robots, love, dutiful jewish daughters

is that what they’re calling it these days
Thu
5
June

[Carla] Bruni talks in the book for the first time of her whirlwind romance, past lovers and her recording career. She describes the dinner party last November where she was invited as a blind date for the newly divorced President [Nicolas Sarkozy].

“It all happened suddenly. I wasn’t expecting someone so funny, so full of life. I was seduced by his physique and his intelligence,” she says. “He has five or six brains which are remarkably irrigated.”

Carla Bruni

,
by
posted at
8:25 am EDT

When asked to clarify her statement, Bruni leaned back and began to count on her impeccably manicured fingers.  “Well, there is of course his political mind, that is brain number one.  And his sensitivity, the way he treats a woman!—that is number two.  Brain three would have to be his masterful ability at backgammon.  And numbers four through six, of course, are his penis and so-cute little butt.”

After a lengthy silence, Ms Bruni continued.  “Perhaps you are confused that those would only count for brains four and five?  But I give extra credit, because, well… you know.”

Tags: politics, france, love, carla bruni, brains four through six, nicolas sarkozy