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The turkey pardon is a White House tradition that dates to the Truman administration.
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Pumpkin and the backup bird, Pecan—whom the president joked was being held in an “undisclosed location” just in case “the main act chickens out”—hail from Ellsworth, Iowa. They were chosen from more than 4,500 candidates based on their struts, wattles and personalities.
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White House Senior Adviser: Doo-de-doo! Let’s have a look at today’s to-do list.
White House Senior Adviser: “Prevent further deterioration of reeling economy, with knowledge that all statements and actions made by current administration officials, regardless of content, contribute to said deterioration of economy.”
White House Senior Adviser: “Attempt literally impossible negotiations of troop withdrawal in Iraq based on multiple incompatible semantic systems of ‘war,’ ‘occupation,’ etc.”
White House Senior Adviser: “Enact environment-related legislation that will immediately be overturned by the next administration.”
White House Senior Adviser: Hmmm.
Secretary to White House Senior Adviser: Sir? Sorry, there’s a late addition to the to-do list.
White House Senior Adviser: “Travel to Iowan backwater; examine over 4500 turkeys; choose among them based on the criteria of struts, wattles, and personalities.”
White House Senior Adviser, softly, gratefully: Hell yes.