retraction jackson
Fri
11
July

The Rev. Jesse Jackson apologized Wednesday for making a crude comment about Barack Obama… ‘Barack, he’s talking down to black people… I want to cut his nuts off,’ Jackson said, making a jabbing gesture with his hand....

Jackson said he hoped his remarks would not be taken as a lack of support for Obama’s campaign… ‘[B]ecause I support it unequivocally.’

by
posted at
10:26 am EDT

Following his apology Wednesday, Jackson bought lunch at Da Giuseppe, on 71st and Broadway. “Giuseppe [Formentini, owner and chef of Da Giuseppe], his gnocchi are giving indigestion to black people.  I want to carve his tongue out and feed it back to him,” said Jackson.

Jackson quickly apologized and reaffirmed his “lifelong conviction” that Da Giuseppe “is the best Italian [restaurant] on the Upper West Side.”

Later, on an afternoon walk through Central Park, the Rev. Jackson had an allergy attack as he passed a bed of daisies.  “These no-good daisies,” said Jackson, “they’re making black people sneeze.  I want to slowly tear off their petals, break their stems in half, and shove the broken half-stems right up their hateful pestils.”

Jackson subsequently expressed regret for his remarks and declared that daisies were in fact “absolutely, positively, my very favorite flower[s] in the whole wide world.”

Jackson finished his long day back at his Harlem penthouse, where he immediately retired to bed.

“Damn Sealy Posturepedic Mattress,” Jackson muttered, already half-asleep, “you’re making black people sleepy.  I want to take a machete, slice open your mattreshmmmm...” Jackson then drifted off to sleep.

An apology and full retraction of Jackson’s last statement are expected in the morning.

Tags: politics, barack obama, in bed, apologies, daisies, ingenuousness, jesse jackson

fortune cookie productivity
Thu
1
May

If you’ve ever lamented the time you’ve spent watching television sitcoms as wasted, Clay Shirky has an idea that may cheer you up about the future. As people spend more time online, Mr. Shirky suggests, they’re converting useless sitcom-watching hours into more productive endeavors.
...
Of course, as Buzzwatch has learned—and as some readers have no doubt experienced—it’s amazing what you can get done on a laptop while watching a sitcom at the same time.

by
posted at
10:00 am EDT