life, liberty, and the pursuit of hAAAUGGGH!
Tue
23
September

People who startle easily in response to threatening images or loud sounds seem to have a biological predisposition to adopt conservative political positions on many hot-button issues, according to unusual new research published yesterday.

The finding suggests that people who are particularly sensitive to signals of visual or auditory threats also tend to adopt a more defensive stance on political issues, such as immigration, gun control, defense spending and patriotism. People who are less sensitive to potential threats, by contrast, seem predisposed to hold more liberal positions on those issues. 

by
posted at
8:35 am EDT

Political Ideology as a Predictor for Startle Response
Graham Bettelman, et al.
University of Nebraska, Lincoln

Abstract
The authors examined the correlation in humans of ideations of political conservativism and strength of startle reactions to threat stimuli.  Subjects were exposed to three situations that included a perceived threat (visual, auditory, or imagined), and their reaction measured along parameters that included the amounts of eye blinking and palm sweat, and vertical distance jumped from a sitting position.  Results show conclusively that Republicans are just more jumpy.

Methods
Subjects were given questionnaires to determine political philosophy, and randomly grouped into one of three conditions (2x3 design): visual threat, auditory threat, and absence of threat.  Throughout the experiment, measurements of palm moistness and blinking rate were monitored (see Fig. 1).

Visual Threat. In the visual threat condition, subjects saw a short film clip of a young gay man expressing his enthusiasm over his plans to marry the subject’s son and move to San Francisco to open a vegan swingers’ restaurant. 
Auditory Threat. In the auditory threat condition, subjects were fitted with headphones, through which calming classical music was played at a moderate volume.  After a randomized period of time (10s-25s after the beginning of the music), a heavily accented voice would interrupt to proclaim a desire to join the Subject’s great country in order to work a below-minimum-wage job and establish a better future for his family.  The original, which design called for a variety of voices, proved too complex for this study’s simple 2x3 design, so we instead used the voice of a single Mexican-American male, aged 23.
Absence of Threat. In the absence of threat condition, subjects were instructed to imagine a utopian-type world: where wars are not waged to further political agendas; citizens are taxed fairly based on their ability to give; and all people have true freedom to worship, love, and make health decisions without government intervention.

Results
In all cases, subjects who had identified as more conservative on their questionaire reacted much more strongly to the threat stimuli, though contrary to our expectations, the greatest response came in the Absence of Threat condition. ...
To continue reading this paper, please log in now to ScienceOnline.

Tags: politics, science, republicans, immigration, gay marriage, vegan swingers restaurants, startlement

xenophobe’s paradox
Wed
25
June

A genuine leaked email from a Daily Mail features writer has surfaced:

——-Original Message——- From: rsreply@dwpub.com [mailto:rsreply@dwpub.com] Sent: 13 February 2008 15:57 To:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Subject: Response Source - Diana Appleyard , Daily Mail (Request for personal case study) PUBLICATION: Daily Mail (Request for personal case study)
JOURNALIST: Diana Appleyard (staff)
DEADLINE: 14-February-2008 16:00
QUERY: I am urgently looking for anonymous horror stories of people who have employed Eastern European staff, only for them to steal from them, disappear, or have lied about their resident status. We can pay you £100 for taking part, and I promise it will be anonymous, just a quick phone call. Could you email me asap? Many thanks, Diana
HOW TO REPLY:
Email: mailto:dianaappleyard@aol.com
Phone: not provided for use
Fax: 01296 738083 (preferred)

by
posted at
11:23 am EDT

——-Original Message——- From: rsreply@scapegoat.com [mailto:rsreply@scapegoat.com] Sent: 25 June 2008 15:57 To:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Subject: Response Source - Wojtek Serafinowicz , Warszawa Gazeta (Request for personal case study)

PUBLICATION: Warszawa Gazeta
JOURNALIST: Wojtek Serafinowicz
DEADLINE: 28th June 2008
QUERY: I am urgently looking for anonymous horror stories of people who have employed xenophobic British journalists, only for them to bribe people into offering potentially dangerous information, deliberately lie or distort people’s experiences to fit in with their own racist agenda and then disappear to their nearest Gentlemen’s club with the proceeds. We can pay you 100 Zloty for taking part, and I promise that nobody will be sent round to clobber you with a big stick - just a quick poke in the eye and an invitation to do your own plumbing and manual labour in the future. Could you email me asap? Many thanks, Wojtek.

HOW TO REPLY:
Email: mailto: wojtekserafinowicz@whatthefuck.com
Phone: was smashed by overzealous Daily Mail readers.
Fax: That’s not how you spell facts, but either way they’re not necessary in British newspapers.

Tags: britain, media, immigration, xenophobia, diana appleyard, the daily mail

maybe it’s easier just to stay illegal
Wed
9
April

imageForeign nationals are being offered ways to ensure they pass UK citizenship tests, a BBC investigation has found. Fraudsters are recruiting stand-ins to sit the tests, while one language school has been providing candidates with answers.

Since 2005, most foreign nationals applying for British citizenship have to prove both proficiency in the English language and a knowledge of British culture before their application is successful.

by
posted at
9:59 am EDT

UK CITIZENSHIP TEST 2008
(For non-dependants and those without dependables.)

SANCTIONED BY HM CIVIL SERVICE, FCO, IMMIGRATION UNIT.

This is a multiple-choice test comprising of 10 questions. You need a score of 110% or higher in order to be considered for UK citizenship. We do not care if you are partially-sighted, dyslexic, find strange exam-hall environments claustrophobic or have other aptitudes which would be better tested outside of an exam hall. We do not care if you don’t know the English words ‘claustrophobic’ or ‘aptitudes’. You have thirty seconds to complete the test. Leave no questions unanswered.

Name:
Address:
Temporary Immigration Code (if applicable):

1. The House of Lords - the second chamber in British Politics and the highest court in the country - recently published a report in which the claim that immigration increases Britain’s overall GDP was dismissed as being “irrelevant and misleading”. The argument that immigration is needed to fill job vacancies was described in the same report as being “analytically weak”, while the country’s biggest-selling newspaper splashed the story with the headline: Migrants ‘do not boost Britain’.

Do you:

A) Want to take this test?
B)
C) Not want to take this test?

2. Prince Philip (Greek) - long-serving husband to the country’s head of state (German) - has travelled a lot. Which of the following statements are actual, true, not-made-up direct quotes from Prince Philip:

1) To a Briton he met in Hungary in 1993: “You can’t have been here that long - you haven’t got a pot belly”.
2) To a Scottish driving instructor in 1995: “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?”
3) To British students during a Royal visit to China in 1986: “If you stay here much longer you’ll all be slitty-eyed.”

A) 1, 2 and 3.
B) All of them
C) All of them, but there are many more quotes like this available to view on the internet.

3. This is also a language test. We don’t speak any other languages so you have to learn ours. Thankfully, though, English is simple, innit? Please put a cross next to the one sentence from those below that you would be unlikely to hear on the streets of Britain:

A) I ad eight pints a-stella down the duck on frydee and was well trolleyed, innit?
B) Fuckin immigrants are floodin this country and stealing our hard-earned tax money threw hand-outs and benefits, innit?
C) What this country needs is to grow up. I would get down on my knees and plead to the y-front-wearing press barons of this island not to continue making money by peddling bile and hatred to an over-worked and disillusioned people who were sold a lie thirty years ago by an evil old witch and who are now witnessing the true cost of greed and a fractious society in which scapegoats are needed. Pint of bitter, please.

4. Which of the following celebrities is the best role model for your children?

A) Millionaire dumb-nut David Beckham.
B) Millionaire dumb-nut Charlotte Church.
C) Millionaire racist dumb-nut Jade Goody.

5. You have just answed question 4. This a test for people without dependants, as clearly stated at the top of this form. You are disqualified, and we also now know who you are.

Tags: international relations, britain, immigration, xenophobia, prince philip, innit