DENVER, Colorado (CNN) —Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton will release her delegates to Sen. Barack Obama, a Clinton spokesman said Sunday, the eve of the Democratic National Convention.

Cops milling around, squad cars parked outside of a rundown house on the outskirts of town. Tensions are high. Hostage situation. A commanding figure strides out of an arriving town car, megaphone at the ready.

Barack (into megaphone): Hillary, we’ve got the place surrounded. Just let the delegates go.
Hillary (shouting): NEVER!
Barack: Hillary, we don’t want anyone to get hurt today. That speech you gave was so gracious – why go messing things up with this?
Hillary: Because they’re my delegates…my precious delegates…my precious…
Barack: Okay, hold on. Mr. Costelvis?
Mello: Uh...are you talking to me, Mr. Obama?
Barack: That’s right, Mr. Costelvis, you are the author of this piece, are you not?
Mello: Uh, yeah, but...how is that you’re talking to me?
Barack: I’m Barack freaking Obama. I can do anything. Do you understand that?
Mello: Yes, sir.
Barack: Now, I understand what you were trying to do.
Mello: It’s just that line - “will release her delegates” – it’s so silly, I mean –
Barack: I agree with you, but this has been done.
Mello: Huh?
Barack: Hillary as desperate, Hillary as clinging on to a failed dream, however you want to describe it. It’s been done. It’s not clever.
Mello: Sure, but I thought –
Barack: You thought you could fix it with a Gollum “my precious” Lord of the Rings reference?
Mello: (ashamed) Yes, sir.
Barack: Now Mello, you don’t seem like a dummy. I expect better of you and I want you to expect better of yourself. This country needs CHANGE – from the guy in charge all the way down to the lowly news commentating bloggers. Are you with me?
Mello: Yes, sir.
Barack: Okay then. I’ve got to get back to work - I have a speech to give at a convention and this country isn’t going to inspire itself, if you know what I mean.

Barack drives off with confidence and class. The exhaust from his car drifts upwards and forms the word “Believe.”

Mello: Wow. That guy can do anything. Maybe he is as good as all the hype.
Hillary: WHAT’S THAT? WHO ARE YOU? YOU CAN’T HAVE MY DELEGATES EITHER! NEVER, YOU HEAR ME?! NEVER!!!

Hillary throws a cat out the window. Mello shakes his head and sighs in resignation. Elsewhere Barack sneezes and an angel is given its wings.

Tags: politics, barack obama, hillary clinton, postmodern claims of autonomy from a fictionalized character, gollum, delegates, lord of the rings

[First Lady Laura] Bush told ABC News that she would prefer the first female president “to be a Republican woman.” But, she added, “I will say I watched the campaign and admired Hillary’s grit and strength.

“I know what it’s like to run those campaigns, and so I’ll have to say I have a lot of admiration for her endurance,” Bush said.

The first lady also suggested that Obama’s wife, Michelle, probably did not intend to say, as she did in February, that she was proud of America for “the first time” because of her husband’s candidacy.

“I think she probably meant I’m more proud, you know, is what she really meant,” Bush said.

You have been invited to a conference chat with NaughtyLibrarian46 and thatshillaryous1026. Do you accept? y

MrSrObInSoN: this better not be one of them porn spam thngs
thatshillaryous1026: hi michelle
thatshillaryous1026: its hillary clinton
NaughtyLibrarian46: And Laura Bush!
MrSrObInSoN has been censored by the chat administrator.
NaughtyLibrarian46: Oops, let me turn this censor thing off.
NaughtyLibrarian46: I don’t know why I keep it on!
MrSrObInSoN: maybe because you’re some kind of crazy christian psycho woman with big teeth
thatshillaryous1026: jesus
The chat administrator settings have been changed.
thatshillaryous1026: um thats a bit harsh michelle
MrSrObInSoN: no thats just my sharp sense of playful irony or whatever
MrSrObInSoN: ive been told it doesnt translate in written form
NaughtyLibrarian46: Ha ha! It’s okay!
NaughtyLibrarian46: I think it translates just fine.
NaughtyLibrarian46: And George has called me far worse, believe me.
NaughtyLibrarian46: Wink wink.
thatshillaryous1026: ha ha!
MrSrObInSoN: DAMMIT
MrSrObInSoN: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU GO THERE
thatshillaryous1026: i think thats cute
thatshillaryous1026: i mean, within limits
thatshillaryous1026: actually i dont rly want 2 know the specifics
NaughtyLibrarian46: Ladies, I’m going to be frank.
NaughtyLibrarian46: I think we should start a club!
thatshillaryous1026: omg laura
thatshillaryous1026: i think its so sweet that ur reaching out 2 us like this
MrSrObInSoN: what kind of club
NaughtyLibrarian46: I mean a club for powerful women in politics who are married to powerful men.
NaughtyLibrarian46: It would be a chance for us to blow off steam, talk girl talk…
MrSrObInSoN: um
thatshillaryous1026: maybe one week can we discuss “the secret”
NaughtyLibrarian46: If by “week” you mean “month”!
thatshillaryous1026: YESSSS
MrSrObInSoN: with all due respect, this sounds retarded and i dont have time for it
MrSrObInSoN: also im worried im going to hear more references to your sex life
NaughtyLibrarian46: What if I told you that a certain other political wife was also in the club?
MrSrObInSoN: uh
MrSrObInSoN: ill um… ill think about it
MrSrObInSoN: oh, look at the time
SEX_AND_THE_CINDY has entered the conference chat.
SEX_AND_THE_CINDY: HELLO LADIES, SORRY IM LATE
SEX_AND_THE_CINDY: JOHN NEEDED MY PRESENCE AT A “FUNDRAISER”
SEX_AND_THE_CINDY: WINK WINK LOL
MrSrObInSoN: jesus fucking shit
MrSrObInSoN: uh, i have to go somewhere where they don’t allow chatting
MrSrObInSoN: for the remainder of 2008
MrSrObInSoN has left the conference chat.
SEX_AND_THE_CINDY: PLEASE TELL ME WE HAVENT DISCUSSED THE SECRET YET

Tags: politics, barack obama, hillary clinton, innuendo, laura bush, michelle obama, cindy mccain, the secret

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton on Sunday dismissed criticism of her proposed summer gas tax ‘holiday’ as ‘elite opinion’ that reflects the views of economists, not ordinary Americans who drive a long way to work.

From the desk of Hillary Clinton

Dear fellow regular Americans,

Your pal Hillary Clinton here.  I’m just gonna cut to the chase, folks, cuz I know real, hardworking people like you n’ me don’t have time for a bunch of jibberjabber: y’all mighta heard that some “economists” are goin around badmouthing my plan for a summer gas tax holiday.  Apparently these economists think that jus because they studied “économics” or whatever they can go around telling us we all gotta spend more money on gas this summer.  Well, shoot, if yer like me ‘n Bill and yer fixin to head down to Boca this summer, or haulin over to Branson to catch Jimmy Buffett, you know that the LAST thing you want is to spend MORE money on gas this summer.  Heck no!  You wanna pay LESS.  Bill ‘n I unnerstand that.

And don’t think it stops there, yall, cause it DONT. Mr. Obama thinks we should rely on all sorts of “experts” to tell us what to do, and how to do it, and what long-term ramifications we might expect from one of several specific courses of action or relative inaction.  Well, NOT ME.  So without further to-do, here’s a list of some “expert” opinions and what REAL AMERICANS like you and me think about em:

“EXPERT” OPINION:  The complexities of the situation in Iraq mean that there are simply no quick fixes: whatever course America takes, Bush’s legacy in Iraq will pose a threat to American and global security for years to come.

US: Yeah, RIGHT.  Iraq SUCKS.  Yeah, RIGHT.  Iraq SUCKS.  Being over there SUCKS. Period.  So if being over there sucks, then alls we gotta do is STOP BEING OVER THERE.  Dang but that was easy!!

“EXPERT” OPINION: A healthy lifestyle is the key to a healthy life.  Exercising regularly, eating healthier foods in smaller quantities, and limiting intake of unhealthy foods such as fried chicken and milkshakes, all contribute to greatly improved physical fitness.

US: Translation:  Exercise is better than fried chicken and milkshakes!  R U frickin kidding me?! Can you BELIEVE these guys?  Look, dweebs: Exercise SUCKS.  Fried chicken and milkshakes TASTE AWESOME.  END OF STORY.

“EXPERT” OPINION:  A multimillionaire politician who poses as a populist during an election cycle by promising popular but obviously irresponsible policy and adopting various condescending “common man” postures such as shooting guns and drinking shots in a bar assumes that a few months of transparent pandering will somehow incite the electorate to overlook that same politician’s years and decades as a member of the very same group of “elites” which he or she so vehemently criticizes come election time.  This viewpoint has repeatedly been proven correct.

US:  ...And that’s exactly how come we gotta kick George W. Bush’s preppy butt straight outta the White House and get us REAL AMERICANS back in there.  Shoot, looks like fer once the experts are right about somethin!

HILLARY ’08, Y’ALL!

Luv,
Hillary

Tags: politics, barack obama, hillary clinton, exercise is better than fried chicken and milkshakes?!, jimmy buffett, gas tax

“I truly believe that that’s going to take an individual that has testicular fortitude,” said [Indiana union president Paul Gipson]. “That’s exactly right. That’s what we gotta have.”

Clinton, standing behind Gipson, smiled sheepishly before breaking into a nervous laugh. Gipson continued by slamming unnamed “Gucci-wearing, latte-drinking, self-centered, egotistical people that have damaged our lifestyle,” before endorsing and introducing Clinton.

You have been invited to a conference chat with thatshillaryous1026, CaRvIlLaIn, and superdelegate1011806. Do you accept? Y

superdelegate1011806: i guess i’d have to hear it
CaRvIlLaIn: RAGIN’ CAJUN GONNA RAGE ALL OVER YUO
CaRvIlLaIn: YOU
superdelegate1011806: yeah, i really feel like you could do better than that, theme song-wise
thatshillaryous1026: welcome paul!
SteelWorkersLoc6787: Is this the Chat room?
CaRvIlLaIn: PAUL WHAT’S UP
thatshillaryous1026: congressman, this is paul gipson, president of the steelworkers local 6787
thatshillaryous1026: paul u can go ahead and tell the congressman about the needs of ur community
SteelWorkersLoc6787: My goodness, There’s a lot going on at once here.
10:14am
superdelegate1011806: um...?
thatshillaryous1026: give him some time
10:23am
superdelegate1011806: senator clinton, could you ask your supporter to type a bit faster please
SteelWorkersLoc6787: I would like to apologize in advance for my lack of Computer Knowledge, It is a subject Blue-Collar America does not Tend to be Familiar With.

superdelegate1011806 has been censored by the chat administrator.
superdelegate1011806: i can’t f-ing believe you took 23 minutes of our time to type that\
CaRvIlLaIn: PAUL YOU MAY WANT TO CUT TO THE CHASE
thatshillaryous1026: paul maybe ur niece can type 4 u or sometihng
10:37am
SteelWorkersLoc6787: Okay, I’ll get my niece, You wait right here.
SteelWorkersLoc6787 has left the conference chat.
superdelegate1011806: wtf
superdelegate1011806: i didn’t know people like that even existed anymore
CaRvIlLaIn: HE DOES SEEM PRETTY OUT OF IT
SteelWorkersLoc6787 has entered the conference chat.
SteelWorkersLoc6787: Hilary Clinton has the tisticuler forited to stand up too egotesticle latte drnikers
superdelegate1011806: what does that even mean?
CaRvIlLaIn: CAN WE GET AN OLDER NIECE
thatshillaryous1026: it means i am not an elitist??
CaRvIlLaIn: WITH BETTER SPELLING MAYBE
superdelegate1011806: i’m drinking a latte right now
superdelegate1011806: i fail to see how lattes denote egotism
thatshillaryous1026: teh main thing is, i have balls
superdelegate1011806: i have to tell you that this sort of knee-jerk cultural stereotyping does very little for me
SteelWorkersLoc6787: Every time a liberal drinks a latte, We loose 400 jobs
thatshillaryous1026: the american people understand that i have more balls than any other candidate
superdelegate1011806: again, wtf
CaRvIlLaIn: SHE HASN’T SLEPT IN LIKE FOUR DAYS
CaRvIlLaIn: GIVE HER A BREAK
CaRvIlLaIn: AND ALSO YOUR VOTE
superdelegate1011806: sen. clinton.
superdelegate1011806: i have to go
superdelegate1011806: maybe we can talk later?
thatshillaryous1027: barack = no balls
CaRvIlLaIn: YES, LEAVE NOW PLEASE
superdelegate1011806 has left the conference chat.

SteelWorkersLoc6787: Itallian fashion Designers keep comming to teh Steel mill and pnuching everyone in the Face
SteelWorkersLoc6787: Many people dont know, However Barack Obama is secretly Fashion Maven Donatella Versace
SteelWorkersLoc6787: So selfish

Tags: politics, barack obama, conference chat, hillary clinton, blue-collar america, latte, balls

Mike Swiderski, 32, who builds houses in Scranton, took the day off to work for Obama, posting campaign signs around town.  His girlfriend, accountant Jeanette Heal, voted for Clinton.  “We fight about it all the time,” said Heal, 34, as she left her polling place at Fargione Auto Shop.  “I made up my mind for Hillary sometime in the ’90s.”

Other Important Decisions Jeanette Heal Made Permanently Sometime in the ’90s

Baby Names: Justin if it’s a boy, Britney if it’s a girl. (If it’s twins: OMIGOD SO CUTE.)

Career: Tie between Pop Superstar and Accountant.  Both of those are totally awesome!!!

Foreign Policy: We should go back to Iraq.

Pension plan: None.  This “World Wide Web” thing is really taking off!  Investing it all in Pets.com.

Where I Will Be In 10 Years: SCRANTON, Y’ALL!!!

Favorite Drink: Captain Morgan and Crystal Pepsi.

There!  All done.  I’ll never have to think again.

Tags: politics, barack obama, hillary clinton, scranton, captain morgan and crystal pepsi

The Boss backed Barack Obama Wednesday, possibly giving the current Democratic front-runner some street cred—at least among Bruce fans.
...
Not to be outdone by the singer’s support for Obama, Clinton announced an endorsement of her own Wednesday from salsa king Willie Colón.

You have been invited to a conference chat with superdelegate1011806 and Barack_Obama. Do you accept? y

superdelegate1011806: but most of the time i feel like clarence just needs to chill out
superdelegate1011806: what!
Barack_Obama: Welcome, Bruce.
superdelegate1011806 has been censored by the chat administrator.
BruceTheBossSpringst:  Whats happening !!!!
superdelegate1011806: you didnt f-ing tell me you invited f-ing bruce springfuck to THIS CHAT
BruceTheBossSpringst: Were you talkin trash on my man Clarence !!!!!
Barack_Obama: Ha, ha, ha, ha!  Now, Bruce, we’re all entitled to our own musical opinions.
Barack_Obama: However, concerning policy and leadership, I think some debate might be fruitful.
Barack_Obama: Congressman, I understand you intend to cast your vote for Senator Clinton.
Barack_Obama: Perhaps the endorsement of Bruce Springsteen, an icon of modern Americana, will persuade you to choose otherwise.
BruceTheBossSpringst:  CLarence will kick YOURE BUTT ROTFL !!!!!
superdelegate1011806: barack, i respect what you’re trying to do
superdelegate1011806: and my mind certainly hasn’t been made up yet
BruceTheBossSpringst:  EVERYBODYS GOT A HUNGY HEART !!!
superdelegate1011806: but i want to give a fair hearing to both sides
superdelegate1011806: um… could you ask bruce not to do that
Barack_Obama: Bruce, I’m not sure it helps my cause for you to quote your own song lyrics in all capital letters.
BruceTheBossSpringst: WHy doesnt the superdelgate tell me that to my face !!!!!!!
BruceTheBossSpringst: Im KIDDING !!!!!
superdelegate1011806: yes.
Barack_Obama: Well, I appreciate your open-mindedness, Congressman.  I suppose we’ll be on our way, then.
thatshillaryous1026 has entered the conference chat.
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON has entered the conference chat.
thatshillaryous1026: i thought id find u here
thatshillaryous1026: willie!  hit it!
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON: CHA CHA CHA, CHA CHA CHA
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON: MI TORTUGA ES LIMPIA
superdelegate1011806: hillary
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON: DONDE ESTA EL AUTOBUS… EL AUTOBUS DE MI CORAZON
superdelegate1011806: not ideal timing
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON: ...DE MI CORAZO-O-O-O-ON
Barack_Obama:  My goodness, this is awkward.
thatshillaryous1026: wtf is barack doing here
BruceTheBossSpringst: This guy is prety good !!!!
BruceTheBossSpringst: BUT NOT AS GOOD AS TEH BOSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TheEStreetBand has entered the conference chat.
TheEStreetBand is performing “I’m on Fire.”
BruceTheBossSpringst: Hey little girl !!!!
BruceTheBossSpringst: Is your daddy home !!!
superdelegate1011806: this is ridiculous
superdelegate1011806: i’m getting out of here
superdelegate1011806 has left the conference chat.
Barack_Obama: Yes, this doesn’t seem headed anywhere good.
thatshillaryous1026: agreed
Barack_Obama has left the conference chat.
thatshillaryous1027 has left the conference chat.

BruceTheBossSpringst: I got a bad desire !!!!!
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON: YO-O-O-O-O ESTOY EN FUEGO
BruceTheBossSpringst: Huh !!!!!???
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON: I AM A BIG FAN, BELIEVE ME

Tags: politics, barack obama, conference chat, hillary clinton, willie colon, salsa, bruce springsteen, americana

...When porn star Milly D’Abbraccio designed her campaign posters, it was obvious she was going to show off her bottom.

Targeting her male fan base, the veteran of Italy’s adult entertainment industry has plastered images of her derriere all around the Eternal City in a bid to win a seat in Rome’s city hall.
...
“I am the derriere of the Socialist party,” she concluded.

The Clinton war room.

Campaign Manager Maggie Williams: Good morning, Clintons.  I’ve been doing a little online research into the state of Italian… er, politics, and I think I have a new campaign role model.
Hillary: This better not be about Carla Bruni again.
MW: No, no.  No!  Ha ha.  No, this is about Milly D’Abbraccio.
Bill: Ooooh yeah!
Hillary, suddenly icy: I don’t know who that is, but whatever you’re planning, I won’t do it.
Bill: I’d like to hear more about this idea, Maggie.
MW: Well, she’s running for city hall in Rome, and instead of slogans or pictures of her face, her posters feature her—
Bill, sotto voce: Please say butt. Please say butt.
MW, looking nervously at Hillary —well, yeah.
Hillary:
MW: Her butt.
Hillary: I unquestionably will not do that.
Bill, beseechingly: But babe, you’ve got such a cute—
Hillary, glaring stonily:
Bill:
Interns: [awkward fidgeting]
MW: Well!  Well, actually…
Hillary, glaring anew:
MW: Actually we weren’t thinking of using you for these posters, Hillary.
Hillary: You bet you weren’t.
MW: Instead, we were actually wondering if—
Bill, suddenly without pants: I’LL DO IT.

Tags: politics, international relations, hillary clinton, italy, milly d'abbraccio, campaigning with one's butt, bill clinton

But [Bill] Richardson stopped returning Mr. Clinton’s calls days ago, Mr. Clinton’s aides said. And as of Friday, Mr. Richardson said, he had yet to pick up the phone to tell Mr. Clinton of his decision [to endorse Barack Obama].

The reaction of some of Mr. Clinton’s allies suggests that might have been a wise decision. “An act of betrayal,” said James Carville, an adviser to Mrs. Clinton and a friend of Mr. Clinton.

“Mr. Richardson’s endorsement came right around the anniversary of the day when Judas sold out for 30 pieces of silver, so I think the timing is appropriate, if ironic,” Mr. Carville said, referring to Holy Week.

From the Desk of Jimmy Carville:

adam nagurney (sp?) from NYT— call back bef. 3pm

FIRST: march 21— any good parallels (esp. betrayals)?

equinox?

1413 - Henry V becomes King of England.
Henry V:
1. reckless youth
2. matured, gained power
3. with help of fat, jolly friend…
4. let’s not go there.

1556 - In Oxford, Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas Cranmer is burned at the stake.
R. is burning H. at stake?
media is burning H. at stake?
**probably bad to invite witch comparison**

1800 - With the church leadership driven out of Rome during an armed conflict, Pius VII is crowned Pope in Venice with a temporary papal tiara made of papier-mâché.
“R. has only crowned pious O. with a temporary paper mache tiara”
- “pious” has neg. connotation!!  gets CLEVER points
- altho, don’t think ppl will get the ref.
- but they might check wikipedia ? ++ too much to hope for ++

RAGIN’ CAJUN RAJIN’ CAJUN
ask interns: WHY don’t I have a theme song? 

1844 - The original date predicted by William Miller for the return of Christ.
ALSO STAY AWAY.
enough O.-jesus comparisons as is…
altho do we know when judas sold out jesus?
INTERNS: look this up

1933 - Construction of Dachau, the first Nazi Germany concentration camp, is completed.
R.’s endorsement is the first step towards
Persecuting H. is like
The personality cult of O. has claimed anoth
STAY THE HELL AWAY.

HE’S RAAAAGEY
HE’S CAAAAGEY
RAGIN’ CAJUN GONNA RAGE ALL OVER YOU!!!!
short, sweet—*see if interns know how chords work*

1980 - On the season finale of the soap opera Dallas, the infamous character J.R. Ewing is shot by an unseen assailant.
H. has been SHOT IN THE HEART by R.’s betrayal!
...
use as last resort maybe
NOTE: see if Larry Hagman will endorse H.? (friends with Nicholson, right?)

1999 - Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones become the first to circumnavigate the Earth in a hot air balloon.
how was this not done wayyyy earlier!?
—see if can meet with one of these guys when cmpgn over.

Tags: politics, barack obama, hillary clinton, bill richardson, irony, betrayal, james carville, theme songs

Many Iraqi politicians are closely monitoring the American presidential race, and some said the visit bolstered their belief that if Mr. McCain, of Arizona, succeeded President Bush in the November election, the American military would have a large presence in Iraq for a very long time.
...
Mrs. Clinton’s advisers said she would also take on Mr. McCain for a recent comment in which he said American troops could be in the country for 100 years.

Mr. McCain has defended that comment, made at a town hall meeting earlier this year in New Hampshire, arguing that he did not mean they would still be fighting but simply maintaining a presence in the region.

You have been invited to a conference chat with Raising_McCain. Do you accept? y
Raising_McCain: HILARY
Raising_McCain: HOWS TEH CAMPAIGN
thatshillaryous1026: its going well
Raising_McCain: THATS NICE
Raising_McCain: LETS STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH
thatshillaryous1026: lol
thatshillaryous1026: and lets start just beating bush!!!!
thatshillaryous1026: ;)
thatshillaryous1026: like president bush
Raising_McCain: UM, SURE
thatshillaryous1026: lol…
Raising_McCain: ...
Raising_McCain: YOUR ADVISERS NEED TO STOP TALKING TRASH
thatshillaryous1026: whats that supposed 2 mean
Raising_McCain: THE “100 YEARS” THING
Raising_McCain: AMERICAN TROOPS, IRAQ, 100 YEARS, BLAH BLAH
thatshillaryous1026: oh that
Raising_McCain: THE POINT IS:
Raising_McCain: THERES A SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FIGHTING AND MAINTAINING A PRESENCE
Raising_McCain: LIKE THE TROOPS COULD BE IN IRAQ JUST SORT OF HELPING OUT
thatshillaryous1026: umm
Raising_McCain: YOU KNOW
Raising_McCain: LIKE LEGISLATING CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM FOR IRAQIS
Raising_McCain: ADVOCATING STATES RIGHTS ON CONTROVERSIAL SOCIAL ISSUES
thatshillaryous1026: that really doesnt sound like our troops
thatshillaryous1026: theyre better @ shooting stuff
thatshillaryous1026: actully that sounds more like u!!! rotfl
Raising_McCain: SETTING UP A REALLY GOOD BARBEQUE SHACK
Raising_McCain: LIKE, REALLY GOOD
thatshillaryous1026: waaaaait a minute
thatshillaryous1026: omg
thatshillaryous1026: john u totally r going 2 move 2 iraq!!
Raising_McCain: WHAT
thatshillaryous1026: like for good!!
Raising_McCain: NO
thatshillaryous1026: it all makes sense!!!
Raising_McCain: I AM DEFINATELY NOT PLANNING A COUP WITH THE AID OF HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF LOYAL AMERICAN TROOPS
Raising_McCain: IF THATS WHAT YOURE SUGGESTING
thatshillaryous1026: its “definitely”
Raising_McCain: WHATEVER
thatshillaryous1026: didnt u even buy a house there???
Raising_McCain: ITS A VACATION HOME
thatshillaryous1026: its in like downtown baghdad
Raising_McCain: THE WARM CLIMATE SUSTAINS MY SCALY ECTOTHERMIC BODY
thatshillaryous1026: ...
thatshillaryous1026: dick cheney are u sitting behind john right now telling him what 2 type
Raising_McCain has been censored by the Chat Administrator.
Raising_McCain has been censored by the Chat Administrator.
Raising_McCain has been censored by the Chat Administrator.
thatshillaryous1026: stop typing swears
Raising_McCain: POOOOOPP
Raising_McCain has been censored by the Chat Administrator.
Raising_McCain has been censored by the Chat Administrator.
Raising_McCain: I HAVE TO GO LEGISTLATE SOMETHING OKAY BYE
Raising_McCain has left the conference chat.
thatshillaryous1026: john please dont go
thatshillaryous1026: ur…
thatshillaryous1026: ur my only freind

thatshillaryous1026: barack still wont play teh appropriations bill drinking game with me

Tags: politics, john mccain, george w. bush, conference chat, hillary clinton, iraq, war, a really good barbeque shack

[Clinton strategists Mark] Penn and [Mandy] Grunwald engaged in a 15-minute squabble that later made it into the media over which ad to run in Virginia. He wanted an ominous one called “Freefall” that warned of bad economic times, while she wanted one called “Can Do” featuring the candidate talking against patriotic music about solving problems. [Political director Guy] Cecil grew so exasperated, he stood up and left. “This is ridiculous,” he said, according to people in the room, “You guys need to grow up. You’re acting like kids. I’ve got work to do.”

Guy Cecil: Thanks for coming, everyone.  I don’t need to tell you that Virginia is looking pretty bleak for us right now, and
Mark Penn: [has hand in the air]
Mandy Grunwald: [also has hand in the air]
GC:
MP, straining to put hand even higher in the air, muttering: call me call on me call me please please call me please
MG: hillary. hillary. hillary-y-y-y-y. hillary i have a great idea. hillaryhillaryhillaryhillaryhillary
MP: THAT’S NOT FAIR I WAS FIRST. HILLARY I WAS FIRST YOU SAW I WAS FIRST.
Hillary Clinton: Mark, what is it.
MP: i think we should run a commercial.
MG: [exhales loudly and with exasperation]
HC:
GC: Yes, there’s no doubt that we should step up our ad presence in Virginia.
MP: yeah yeah yeah and, and in the commercial, we could have, like
MG: [is eating skittles]
MP:
MG:
MP: I THOUGHT WE WEREN’T ALLOWED TO EAT IN MEETINGS
HC: Mandy, please put those away.
MG, muttering: you always take his side.
MP: okay we should do a commercial with president bush, where he’s like, blah blah blah, i’m so terrible, and… and he looks really ugly, and his nose has boogers coming out.
GC:
HC:
MP: this commercial is named “Free Fall,” and… it’s also about the becomony.
MG: MY TURN i think we should have a commercial where hillary looks really PRETTY, and, and she’s talking about how she’s going to fix EVERYTHING, and it’s called “CAN DO,” and i think there should be a WHOLE TEAM OF PONIES.
MP: IT’S NOT YOUR TURN YET
MG: YOU’RE JUST MAD BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS YOU’RE A DORK
MP, beginning to cry: MR. C MANDY CALLED ME THE D-WORD
MG: MR. CE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-ECIL
GC, standing up and leaving: This is ridiculous. You guys need to grow up. You’re acting like kids. I’ve got work to do.
MG:
MP:
HC: “Free Fall,” you say.
MP: she started it.

Tags: politics, john mccain, george w. bush, hillary clinton, mark penn, guy cecil, mandy grunwald

Although Mrs. Clinton has been in the Senate just four more years than Mr. Obama, she has been on the Armed Services Committee and traveled around the world with Mr. McCain.
Examples of their mutual respect typically include a tale of holding a vodka-drinking contest in Estonia. Such a celebration may have been unlikely to happen with Mr. Obama, who on a trip to Russia in 2005 asked that his shot glass be filled with water.

You have been invited to a conference chat with Raising_McCain and thatshillaryous1026. Do you accept? y
Raising_McCain: BARRACK
Raising_McCain: WHATS UP
thatshillaryous1026: lol
thatshillaryous1026: u just called him “barrack”
thatshillaryous1026: like from teh army
BarackObama: Good evening, Senators.
Raising_McCain: SO YOURE PROBABLY WONDERINIG WHY WE ASKED YOU HERE
BarackObama: John, are you aware that your caps lock is on?
Raising_McCain: WE WANT TO DISCUSS THE UPCOMING APPROPRATIONS BILL
Raising_McCain: YES IM AWARE
thatshillaryous1026: rotfl
thatshillaryous1026: i seriously <3 u guys
BarackObama: I believe I have already conveyed my stance on the Supplemental Appropriations Bill to you.
Raising_McCain: WELL LET ME CONVEY MY STNACE TO YOU
Raising_McCain: POOOOOPP
thatshillaryous1026: >:0
thatshillaryous1026: no u didnt
thatshillaryous1026: john ur hamared
BarackObama: Perhaps I should convene with you at another time.
thatshillaryous1026: like dag hamarskjold LOL
Raising_McCain: JESUS HILLRAY
Raising_McCain: HOW ARE YOU SUCH A GODDAM NERD
thatshillaryous1026: barack stay
thatshillaryous1026: do some shots
BarackObama: I’m afraid I don’t have any alcohol at my immediate disposal.
Raising_McCain: GET SOME
BarackObama: Nor do I feel that it is professional to work on legislation while drunk.
BarackObama has left the conference chat.
thatshillaryous1026: everytime we use the word “appropriated” we have 2 do a shot
Raising_McCain: THE JOKE IS THAT ITS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE

Tags: politics, barack obama, john mccain, conference chat, hillary clinton, dag hamarskjold, estonia, appropriations bill drinking game