By all accounts, [2002 Kentucky Derby winner War Emblem] is a happy horse — gamboling through fields most of the day, showing the turn of foot that propelled him to lead every step of the way in America’s greatest horse race.

In reality, however, War Emblem is in therapy.

He is isolated from the other studs at Shadai Stallion Station in the hope that he will feel safe and more confident in his sexuality. Mares surround him in an effort to revive a long-dormant libido.

In nearly five and a half years of contact with hundreds of mares, War Emblem, now 9, has managed to mate with only 70 of them, which is half of most stallions’ yearly output. He has not produced a live foal since 2005, and the last time it was confirmed that he ejaculated in the company of a mare was in 2006. He did it once.

“We know he is fertile, but he has no interest in mares,” said Dr. Nobuo Tsunoda, the director of the farm.

My Darling.
It is as we feared: the lush new barn they have ensconced me in is not a fitting reward for my fleetness of foot, but simply a means of keeping me cloistered. They have surrounded me with nickering mares that follow me both day and night, the simpering custodians of my every move.  Where once I could steel myself to mount one of them, as I know I am expected to do, I have found my resolve slackening ever since you came to these stables, that day I realized that it was you I had always been waiting for.  Damn these fences, higher than even my love can drive me to leap!  Oh, cruel blockade erected between our hearts and bodies!

In the fields I gallop still, sprinting to and fro as the wind whips over the black gloss of my flanks.  They must think this bounding spirit covers an equally carefree heart, but you know—you must know!—that it is all and only for you, my love.  Though I cannot be near you, my last shred of comfort is the glimpses I catch, from far across the fields, of your withers shining in the sun, and I know that you must feel the same.  And so, I lope about; for you, I gambol.

I am entrusting this missive to Sebastian, the stable rat, who has promised its speedy delivery in return for a daily ration of oats.  This is but another testament of my devotion to you, for you know how yummy I find oats.

Yours,
Embie

Tags: gay, war emblem, sebastian the stable rat, kentucky derby, horses

When [Sidney] Crosby gets to the television remote first, he clicks madly from channel to channel. It drives road roommate Colby Armstrong mad.
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Armstrong drags a reporter over to Crosby and announces loudly that he wants to do the interview over, that he’s going to reveal Sid’s affection for Chandler on “Friends.” Crosby interrupts, revealing that not only does Armstrong love “Ellen” but he also likes to dance along to her show opening.
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For every comment Armstrong makes about the size of Crosby’s butt ("It’s kind of big"), Crosby will chide his friend about the way he eats and the noises he makes when he sleeps.

Jonathan Papelbon has been in the shower for forty-five minutes. To road companion Manny Delcarmen, this is nothing new. “It’s always like, don’t make me come in after you!” laughs the Boston reliever. “Cause I’ll do it!” Delcarmen becomes more somber: “But seriously, it’s really not good for his skin.”
From the shower, Papelbon retorts: “Like he knows what he’s doing with his skin. He doesn’t even exfoliate.”

Strolling through a colorful SoHo outdoor market, Steelers tight end Heath Miller oohs and ahs at an array of afghans—but road “partner” Ben Roethlisberger is having none of it.  “You already have, like, ten afghans,” the young quarterback and team leader reminds his friend. “You always forget that you have all these freaking afghans back home.” Miller pouts: “But I want one.”

Over a delicious homemade macchiato in his downtown loft, 7’3” Lithuanian center Zydrunas Ilgauskas confides quietly that fellow Cavalier LeBron James “is a terrible listener.”

Tags: sports, basketball, football, baseball, gay, hockey, lebron james, heath miller, zydrunas ilgauskas, ben roethlisberger, sidney crosby, jonathan papelbon, colby armstrong, manny delcarmen