Bush said he plans to return to Texas after he leaves office January 20 and “may write a book” but otherwise has few plans.
...
Bush said he has begun to think about an outline for the book.

“I want people to know what it was like to make some of the decisions I had to make,” he said. “In other words, what was the moment like? And I’ve had one of those presidencies where I’ve had to make some tough calls, and I want people to know the truth about what it was like sitting in the Oval Office.”

You have been invited to the “October 1, 2002 EMERGENCY DECISION CHAT” conference chat with UncheneyMyHeart.  Do you accept? w
Error: Answer not recognized.  Do you accept? W
Error: Answer not recognized.  Do you accept? y

UncheneyMyHeart:  George.  Welcome.
the_w_is_for_win:  dick hows it goin
UncheneyMyHeart:  There is no time to waste.
the_w_is_for_win:  had kind of a slow day round here mself
UncheneyMyHeart:  The time for a decision on Iraq has come.
the_w_is_for_win:  hey did u get thuse lolcats i sent u
the_w_is_for_win:  friggin cat was givin a press confrence
the_w_is_for_win:  i was laughin fit 2 bust!!!!!
UncheneyMyHeart:  Um, sure.
UncheneyMyHeart:  The lollcats amused me most comprehensively.
the_w_is_for_win:  betimes it sure do get a touch lonely all up in here
UncheneyMyHeart:  George!
UncheneyMyHeart:  The commission that you appointed to explore our options on Iraq has released its findings.
UncheneyMyHeart:  To summarize, there are three ways forward.
the_w_is_for_win:  8?!?!
the_w_is_for_win:  aw heck
UncheneyMyHeart:  No, three.
the_w_is_for_win:  8
UncheneyMyHeart:  three = 3
the_w_is_for_win:  what in the crud hill is a =
UncheneyMyHeart:  3.  You have 3 options.
UncheneyMyHeart:  And here to present them is the host of “Fear Factor,” Joe Rogan.
JOEROGAN has entered the conference chat.
JOEROGAN:  GEORGE
JOEROGAN:  ARE YOU READY TO MAKE ONE OF THE MOST EXTREME DECISIONS OF YOUR LIFE
the_w_is_for_win:  aww heck yeah
the_w_is_for_win:  ima tell all my frinds i met joe rogan in the internet
JOEROGAN:  GEORGE, YOUR FIRST OPTION:  INVADE IRAQ…
JOEROGAN:  AND OVERTHROW THE TYRANNICAL DICTATOR THAT KILLED YOUR FATHER
UncheneyMyHeart:  Um.
the_w_is_for_win:  i hate that dude!!!!
UncheneyMyHeart:  You know what, never mind.
JOEROGAN:  YOUR SECOND OPTION:  SPEND A NIGHT…
JOEROGAN:  IN A CLOSET…
JOEROGAN:  FILLED WITH SCORPIONS…
JOEROGAN:  SUSPENDED TEN MILES ABOVE DOWNTOWN MANHATTAN
the_w_is_for_win:  dang!!!!!!????
JOEROGAN:  THOSE ARE YOUR OPTIONS
UncheneyMyHeart:  What happened to the third option?
JOEROGAN:  YOU SAID TWO OPTIONS
UncheneyMyHeart:  I said three.
the_w_is_for_win:  8
JOEROGAN:  FOR THE LOVE
JOEROGAN:  UM
JOEROGAN:  GEORGE, YOUR THIRD OPTION…
JOEROGAN:  IS TO EAT…
JOEROGAN:  FOUR TONS...
JOEROGAN:  OF UNCOOKED GOAT TESTICLES
the_w_is_for_win:  ewwwww
JOEROGAN:  HERE THEY ARE, IN A TRUCK
JOEROGAN is gesturing to a truck containing four tons of uncooked goat testicles.
UncheneyMyHeart:  Oh Jesus Christ.
the_w_is_for_win:  daggg
JOEROGAN:  TIME TO CHOOSE
the_w_is_for_win:  what were teh first option agin
JOEROGAN:  DECLARE WAR ON IRAQ AND TAKE VENGEANCE ON THE MAN WHO KILLED YOUR FATHER
the_w_is_for_win:  that dude gits me all riled up!!!!!!!
the_w_is_for_win:  i feel like thar were another item
JOEROGAN:  LIVE IN A CLOSET WITH SCORPIONS
the_w_is_for_win:  thats not 8
the_w_is_for_win:  oh wait, i forgot aboutn them texas oysters
UncheneyMyHeart:  George!  You must act now!
the_w_is_for_win:  heck i dont know
UncheneyMyHeart:  George, my God.
UncheneyMyHeart:  You are choosing among war, living with scorpions in a closet, and eating a physically infeasible quantity of uncooked goat testicles.
UncheneyMyHeart:  Choose war.
the_w_is_for_win:  well
the_w_is_for_win:  dick this is tough
the_w_is_for_win:  is therr any chance that a insight could be gleant from our sponsors
JOEROGAN:  EXCELLENT POINT
JOEROGAN:  WE’LL BE BACK AFTER THIS WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS

Tags: politics, george w. bush, conference chat, dick cheney, the oval office, joe rogan, texas oysters, closet of scorpions, fear factor, lolcats

In such a situation, even a powerful vice president such as Cheney can no longer command votes from members of the House. “Cheney lived up to his reputation as Darth Vader . . . talking about all the terrible things that were going to happen,” said Rep. Christopher Shays (R-Conn.). “People weren’t afraid of Darth Vader.”

“I mean, seriously, what’s he going to do?” chuckled Shays.  “Is Darth Cheney going to goagggh....garrgaha...chdheahdgsthaahsaaggghghgghgg.”

Tags: politics, dick cheney, star wars, darth cheney, christopher shays, chdheahdgsthaahsaaggghghgghgg, darth vader

The Bush administration has not found disaster recovery files for White House e-mails from a three-month time period in 2003, according to court documents filed this week, raising the possibility that messages sent before and after the invasion of Iraq may never be recovered.
...
The administration also said it is still searching computer archives for e-mails that have been filed in the wrong “digital drawer.” In addition, [White House chief information officer Theresa] Payton and other officials have said that any e-mails missing from the White House archiving system might still be available on disaster recovery tapes.

*Update*
Wednesday, May 7, 2008, 10:56pm

After weeks of working to crack the passwords that had been blocking access to the “digital drawers” in which months of crucial White House emails had been stored—inadvertently, as the administration claimed—IT worker Steve Blevin made a breakthrough.  “I started thinking, it might take the computers weeks or even years to try all the possible combinations,” said Bremer, 22. 

“I figured, while that was going on, it wouldn’t hurt [to take a different approach], so I thought I’d try to get into the mindset of whoever it was who wanted to hide these documents. One day after lunch I typed in ‘Anakin’ as a joke, and a whole digital file popped open.  After that, things got pretty easy.” According to another staffer who refused to be identified, some of the codes successfully used to open the hidden files included 1ex1uthor, MeGaTrOn, B0wserrR, Sk3l3t0r, and a bevy of alphanumerical variations on “HailLordVoldemort.”

White House chief information officer Theresa Payton confirmed that several missing files had been recovered, but said that it might be several days before their nature can be divulged, following a security check on the contents.

*Update*
Thursday, May 8, 12:35pm

Unconfirmed reports from the White House have cast more light on the contents of the missing emails recently uncovered by White House IT personnel.  According to a source, the files found so far include several dozen recipes forwarded from the account of I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby Jr., then the Vice President’s Chief of Staff, to Lynne.Cheney@hotmail.com; a series of emails sent from Vice President Dick Cheney to himself that appear to chronicle an evolving list of Tetris high scores; and an exchange between Cheney and then–Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove that contains drafts for lyrics of a rap co-featuring Land Rova and DJ Evil C.

Said White House spokesperson Dana Petrino, “I am not aware of the contents of any emails recovered off the archive servers, but I can tell you that if they did include recipes, the contents of those recipes would most likely be classified.” When asked to confirm rumors that the emails included Cindy McCain’s secret recipe for Lemon Bars Supreme, Petrino attempted to steer the conversation back to Guantanamo Bay.

Tags: politics, george w. bush, dick cheney, national security, sk3l3t0r, lemon squares