Bush said he plans to return to Texas after he leaves office January 20 and “may write a book” but otherwise has few plans.
...
Bush said he has begun to think about an outline for the book.

“I want people to know what it was like to make some of the decisions I had to make,” he said. “In other words, what was the moment like? And I’ve had one of those presidencies where I’ve had to make some tough calls, and I want people to know the truth about what it was like sitting in the Oval Office.”

You have been invited to the “October 1, 2002 EMERGENCY DECISION CHAT” conference chat with UncheneyMyHeart.  Do you accept? w
Error: Answer not recognized.  Do you accept? W
Error: Answer not recognized.  Do you accept? y

UncheneyMyHeart:  George.  Welcome.
the_w_is_for_win:  dick hows it goin
UncheneyMyHeart:  There is no time to waste.
the_w_is_for_win:  had kind of a slow day round here mself
UncheneyMyHeart:  The time for a decision on Iraq has come.
the_w_is_for_win:  hey did u get thuse lolcats i sent u
the_w_is_for_win:  friggin cat was givin a press confrence
the_w_is_for_win:  i was laughin fit 2 bust!!!!!
UncheneyMyHeart:  Um, sure.
UncheneyMyHeart:  The lollcats amused me most comprehensively.
the_w_is_for_win:  betimes it sure do get a touch lonely all up in here
UncheneyMyHeart:  George!
UncheneyMyHeart:  The commission that you appointed to explore our options on Iraq has released its findings.
UncheneyMyHeart:  To summarize, there are three ways forward.
the_w_is_for_win:  8?!?!
the_w_is_for_win:  aw heck
UncheneyMyHeart:  No, three.
the_w_is_for_win:  8
UncheneyMyHeart:  three = 3
the_w_is_for_win:  what in the crud hill is a =
UncheneyMyHeart:  3.  You have 3 options.
UncheneyMyHeart:  And here to present them is the host of “Fear Factor,” Joe Rogan.
JOEROGAN has entered the conference chat.
JOEROGAN:  GEORGE
JOEROGAN:  ARE YOU READY TO MAKE ONE OF THE MOST EXTREME DECISIONS OF YOUR LIFE
the_w_is_for_win:  aww heck yeah
the_w_is_for_win:  ima tell all my frinds i met joe rogan in the internet
JOEROGAN:  GEORGE, YOUR FIRST OPTION:  INVADE IRAQ…
JOEROGAN:  AND OVERTHROW THE TYRANNICAL DICTATOR THAT KILLED YOUR FATHER
UncheneyMyHeart:  Um.
the_w_is_for_win:  i hate that dude!!!!
UncheneyMyHeart:  You know what, never mind.
JOEROGAN:  YOUR SECOND OPTION:  SPEND A NIGHT…
JOEROGAN:  IN A CLOSET…
JOEROGAN:  FILLED WITH SCORPIONS…
JOEROGAN:  SUSPENDED TEN MILES ABOVE DOWNTOWN MANHATTAN
the_w_is_for_win:  dang!!!!!!????
JOEROGAN:  THOSE ARE YOUR OPTIONS
UncheneyMyHeart:  What happened to the third option?
JOEROGAN:  YOU SAID TWO OPTIONS
UncheneyMyHeart:  I said three.
the_w_is_for_win:  8
JOEROGAN:  FOR THE LOVE
JOEROGAN:  UM
JOEROGAN:  GEORGE, YOUR THIRD OPTION…
JOEROGAN:  IS TO EAT…
JOEROGAN:  FOUR TONS...
JOEROGAN:  OF UNCOOKED GOAT TESTICLES
the_w_is_for_win:  ewwwww
JOEROGAN:  HERE THEY ARE, IN A TRUCK
JOEROGAN is gesturing to a truck containing four tons of uncooked goat testicles.
UncheneyMyHeart:  Oh Jesus Christ.
the_w_is_for_win:  daggg
JOEROGAN:  TIME TO CHOOSE
the_w_is_for_win:  what were teh first option agin
JOEROGAN:  DECLARE WAR ON IRAQ AND TAKE VENGEANCE ON THE MAN WHO KILLED YOUR FATHER
the_w_is_for_win:  that dude gits me all riled up!!!!!!!
the_w_is_for_win:  i feel like thar were another item
JOEROGAN:  LIVE IN A CLOSET WITH SCORPIONS
the_w_is_for_win:  thats not 8
the_w_is_for_win:  oh wait, i forgot aboutn them texas oysters
UncheneyMyHeart:  George!  You must act now!
the_w_is_for_win:  heck i dont know
UncheneyMyHeart:  George, my God.
UncheneyMyHeart:  You are choosing among war, living with scorpions in a closet, and eating a physically infeasible quantity of uncooked goat testicles.
UncheneyMyHeart:  Choose war.
the_w_is_for_win:  well
the_w_is_for_win:  dick this is tough
the_w_is_for_win:  is therr any chance that a insight could be gleant from our sponsors
JOEROGAN:  EXCELLENT POINT
JOEROGAN:  WE’LL BE BACK AFTER THIS WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS

Tags: politics, conference chat, george w. bush, dick cheney, the oval office, joe rogan, texas oysters, closet of scorpions, fear factor, lolcats

The biggest danger for magician David Blaine when he hangs upside down above New York’s Central Park for 60 hours next week? Going blind.

That’s the analysis of Dr. Massimo Napolitano of the Hackensack University Medical Center in New Jersey. He is the chief of vascular surgery and is advising Blaine on the stunt.

Napolitano told the Bergen Record for a story Saturday that hanging upside down for a long time increases blood pressure in the head, especially in the eyes. That could lead to blindness.

The doctor doesn’t say how long the blindness could last, but he says there’s also a risk of swelling and cramps in internal organs.

Nevertheless, Napolitano says the stunt could yield valuable data for doctors. 

You have been invited to the “Medical Risks of Sixty Hours of Hanging Upside Down” conference chat with MassimoLikelihood and dont_blaine_me.  Do you accept? y

dont_blaine_me: hello mortals
dont_blaine_me: would you like to see a magic trick
MassimoLikelihood:  Hello, David!  And welcome.
LAWYER6100438:  I AM A LAWYER
dont_blaine_me: i will take that as a yes
MassimoLikelihood:  A magic trick, eh?  David, I’m not sure if
MassimoLikelihood:  i would like to donate five berjillion dollars to david blaine
dont_blaine_me:  sounds good lol
MassimoLikelihood:  My goodness!  I certainly didn’t type that.  Wonderful trick, David.
LAWYER6100438:  YOUR STATEMENT OF INTENT TO DONATE FIVE BERJILLION DOLLARS TO DAVID BLAINE IS BINDING ROTFL
MassimoLikelihood:  Indeed.
MassimoLikelihood:  Anyway, David, we’ve analyzed your proposal and are pleased to report that the medical risks of hanging upside down for sixty hours are virtually nil!
dont_blaine_me:  what
LAWYER6100438:  AHEM
dont_blaine_me:  are you effing serious
LAWYER6100438:  DR NAPOLITANO, I AM LEGALLY REQUIRED TO INTERVENE
MassimoLikelihood:  David, could you excuse us for a moment.
dont_blaine_me has left the conference chat.
MassimoLikelihood:  Don.  Can we go off the record for a moment?
LAWYER6100438:  SURE
MassimoLikelihood:  The medical risks of hanging upside down for sixty hours are very high.
LAWYER6100438:  UM, DUH
MassimoLikelihood:  The thing is:  we can get a freaking ton of data out of this.
LAWYER6100438:  THIS DATA WILL NOT BE OF MUCH USE TO YOU IN FEDERAL PRISON
MassimoLikelihood:  For the love.
MassimoLikelihood:  Fine.
MassimeLikelihood:  David, you can come back in.
dont_blaine_me:  i hadnt really left anyway
LAWYER6100438:  HA HA
LAWYER6100438:  WE JUST GOT PUNKD SO HARD
MassimoLikelihood:  Anyway, David, I’m sorry to tell you that the medical risks are actually quite severe.
dont_blaine_me:  thats more like it
MassimoLikelihood:  Specifically, the risk of blindness could be very high.
dont_blaine_me:  hell yesss
MassimoLikelihood:  Um… also organ failure.
dont_blaine_me:  thats awesome
dont_blaine_me:  okay ill go ahead and do it then
MassimoLikelihood:  Great!!  Are you serious?  That’s great!  Oh man.
MassimoLikelihood:  David, this is a major victory for science.
LAWYER6100438:  WHAT THE EFF DAVID BLAINE
dont_blaine_me:  okay guys i have to go
dont_blaine_me:  ive been swallowing this python since about mid-morning
dont_blaine_me:  and hes beginning to thrash
dont_blaine_me has left the conference chat.
MassimoLikelihood:  We need to send some interns over there, like right now.

Tags: science, entertainment, conference chat, david blaine, pythons, magic, blindness, what the eff david blaine

An 18-year-old Plymouth man whose bad dancing at a city festival attracted the attention of authorities was charged Monday with two drug-related misdemeanors, according to a criminal complaint.
...
A security officer at Hispanic Fest on Saturday night pointed out [the man] to patrolling Sheboygan police officers after observing strange dancing.

You have been invited to the “Outraged Citizens of Sheboygan Jeffrey G. Holm Jr. Memorial Petition” conference chat. Do you accept? H
“H" is not a recognized response. Please select “y” or “n”
You have been invited to the “Outraged Citizens of Sheboygan Jeffrey G. Holm Jr. Memorial Petition” conference chat. Do you accept? @
“@" is not a recognized response, and it is not even adjacent to the letters “y” or “n” on any keyboard. Please select “y” or “n”
You have been invited to the “Outraged Citizens of Sheboygan Jeffrey G. Holm Jr. Memorial Petition” conference chat. Do you accept? Y

shakespeares_the_hempest:  thats everyone then
shakespeares_the_hempest:  welcome brian
EganjSchiele:  Sup Brian
weedRtheworld:  brain!!!  WHATS CRACKIN
HERBALPERT128:  YO GUYS…
shakespeares_the_hempest:  so im just gonna paste in what i have for the petition so far
EganjSchiele:  Lol, you said Brain instead of Brian
shakespeares_the_hempest:  To: David E. Kirk, Chief of Police, Sheboygan Police Department
EganjSchiele:  Now I’m thinking of a brain just typing and wahtnot
HERBALPERT128:  NOT GONNA LIE, THAT FREAKS ME OUTT
shakespeares_the_hempest:  focus you guys
weedRtheworld:  i’m all darked out too
weedRtheworld:  it’s like krang from teenage mutant ninja turtles
HERBALPERT128:  THAT WAS AND STILL IS MY FAVORITE SHOW
EganjSchiele:  Sory Steve, keep going
shakespeares_the_hempest:  thanks
shakespeares_the_hempest:  We, the undersigned, wish to express our outrage over the recent arrest of Jeffrey G. Holm, Jr.
shakespeares_the_hempest:  We are particularly dismayed at the precedent set by this arrest, which was motivated by what we can only call “dance profiling.”
shakespeares_the_hempest:  thoughts corrections etc
weedRtheworld:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmWtFAZHaHM
weedRtheworld:  check this out, it’s off the chain
HERBALPERT128:  THIS IS DEFINATELY TAKING MY MIND OFF THE TYPING BRAIN
shakespeares_the_hempest:  “Tiger having Boom Boom with a dog”
shakespeares_the_hempest:  thats great angus
shakespeares_the_hempest:  thats truly productive
shakespeares_the_hempest:  brian its “definitely”
HERBALPERT128:  THIS IS “DEFINATELY” TAKING MY MIND OFF THE TYPING BRAIN
EganjSchiele:  So far, the petition sounds super-official… I like it
shakespeares_the_hempest:  While discrimination based on any form of dance is unacceptable, we seek legal protection for practitioners of the following dances, which we feel to be unfairly targeted by the police:
shakespeares_the_hempest:  so now i need some help naming some stoner dances
shakespeares_the_hempest:  so far i have:
shakespeares_the_hempest:  The Tree
shakespeares_the_hempest:  The Worm
shakespeares_the_hempest:  thats it
weedRtheworld:  the robot velociraptor
HERBALPERT128:  THE ONE WHERE YOU PRETEND THAT YOU AHVE THIS MAGICAL BALL OF ENERGY BETWIXT YOUR HANDS
weedRtheworld:  the humpty dance
EganjSchiele:  Mr. Wobbles
weedRtheworld:  the camel walk
HERBALPERT128:  THE ONE WHERE YOU TRAVEL ACROSS THE ENTIRE DANCE FLOOR BY BOUNDING
shakespeares_the_hempest:  good good
weedRtheworld:  the funky broadway
HERBALPERT128:  THE ONE WHERE YOU’RE THAT GIRL WHO JUST KIND OF SWAYS BACK AND FORTH
weedRtheworld:  the shopping cart
weedRtheworld:  riverdance
EganjSchiele:  The Unusualy Fey Pizza Delivary Man
HERBALPERT128:  STRAVINSKY’S “THE FIREBIRD,” CHOREOGRAPHED BY MICHEL FOKINE
shakespeares_the_hempest:  awesome
shakespeares_the_hempest:  well except for the stravinsky
shakespeares_the_hempest:  brian i dont know if we can put that in
HERBALPERT128:  EVERY TIME I GET TORCHED, “THE FIREBIRD” IS SORT OF MY GO-TO
weedRtheworld:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD6iIbJ83p0
weedRtheworld:  i’m sorry,b ut this is the most incredible thing i have ever seen
EganjSchiele is messily eating some Doritos.
EganjSchiele:  Angus!! 
shakespeares_the_hempest:  great
shakespeares_the_hempest:  just great
shakespeares_the_hempest:  guys are we done
HERBALPERT128:  WAIT DONE WITH WHAT
HERBALPERT128:  ROTFLMAO, I TOTALLY FORGET WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT

Tags: conference chat, police, marijuana, drugs, dance

The Walt Disney Company, concerned that its main Web site is not entertaining enough, is moving once again to overhaul Disney.com.
...
For instance, little girls (or bigger ones) who create fairy avatars in a virtual world called Pixie Hollow will be able to use their cellphones to create pet butterflies for their fairies.
...
“I’m going to want to use my phone to feed and love my butterfly all the time,” said Larry Shapiro, executive vice president for mobile content.

You have been invited to the “Online Shareholders Meeting 070108” conference chat with larryshap007, David_Rabinowicz, BOB.VAN.BUREN, and TheDarkMagus.  Do you accept? Y

TheDarkMagus: i was just in a completely different place back then
TheDarkMagus: and once you have one screenname its like impossible to change
BOB.VAN.BUREN: IT’S REALLY NOT THAT HARD.
David_Rabinowicz: Welcome, shareholders!
disney#shareholders:  Hello
David_Rabinowicz: Let’s just go around the “room” and introduce ourselves!
David_Rabinowicz: I’m David Rabinowicz, executive VP of sales.
larryshap007: larry shapiro, exec vp, mobile content
BOB.VAN.BUREN: ROBERT VAN BUREN, SPECIAL COUNSEL.
TheDarkMagus: john e pepper jr - chairman
disney#shareholders: We Are Teh Shareholders
David_Rabinowicz: Well, I think it makes sense to start with second-quarter earnings—which were way above target!
BOB.VAN.BUREN: OOH!  MY BUTTERFLY JUST GREW AN EXTRA PAIR OF FLUTTERWINGS™!
TheDarkMagus: omg
larryshap007: those are so pretty!!!
David_Rabinowicz: That’s excellent!  Thanks for sharing, Bob.  Now let’s examine the numbers I sent out this morning to everyone…
disney#shareholders: What Are This Flutterwigns
David_Rabinowicz: I especially want to draw everyone’s attention to our recent spike in web traffic.
BOB.VAN.BUREN: MY FAIRY’S NAME IS IRIDESSA.
TheDarkMagus: mine is pluck! shes a harvesttalent fairy
disney#shareholders: Flutterwigns Is Money ????
David_Rabinowicz: John, I bet Pluck has a lot to say about our projected third-quarter earnings!  Oh wait, actually that would be me.
larryshap007: it turns out u can use ur cell 2 feed & love ur buterfly
larryshap007: all the time
TheDarkMagus: i do that nonstop lol
David_Rabinowicz: Yes, we expect this cell-phone functionality to drive the growth of our website.
David_Rabinowicz: Among girls ages 8-12.
larryshap007: my fairy is named dulcie, she bakes delicous cookies
TheDarkMagus: guys check this out
larryshap007: and when i got a buterfly 4 her it had cookie-pattern wings!
BOB.VAN.BUREN: ROTFL THAT IS SO CUTE.
TheDarkMagus: *i* *a*m* *a* *p*i*x*i*e*
larryshap007: !!!!so kewl
disney#shareholders: This Is Nice,
David_Rabinowicz: Can we please just get through this meeting and then talk about the fairies.
larryshap007: dulcie is very easygonig & a little mischeivous
TheDarkMagus: *p*l*u*c*k* *t*h*i*n*k*s* *o*u*r* *t*h*i*r*d* *q*u*a*r*t*e*r* *e*a*r*n*i*n*g*s* *w*i*l*l* *b*e* *h*i*g*h*
David_Rabinowicz: That’s just great fucking news, John.
BOB.VAN.BUREN: EVERY TIME YOU DO THAT THING WITH THE STARS I GET AN ERECTION.
disney#shareholders: We Will Buy Your Pixes
I*r*i*d*e*s*s*a has entered the conference chat.
I*r*i*d*e*s*s*a: *a* *m*j*o*r*i*t*y* *o*f* *i*n*d*e*p*e*n*d*e*n*t* *a*n*a*l*y*s*t*s* *c*a*t*e*g*o*r*i*z*e* *o*u*r* *s*t*o*c*k* *a*s* *a* *s*t*r*o*n*g* *b*u*y*
BOB.VAN.BUREN: OHHHHHnnnnhhnhh
BOB.VAN.BUREN: BRB

Tags: entertainment, conference chat, business, cell phones, shareholders, disney, pixies, grown men with little-girl vaginas

When he was an active player, it was easy to admire [retiring German goalkeeper] Oliver Kahn, but it was very hard to love him...for Oliver Kahn, football was never a game and, as he has said on numerous occasions, he never really enjoyed himself on a football pitch.
...
[I]n 1999, he grabbed Dortmund’s Andreas Möller by the ear, delivered a kung-fu styled kick aimed at Stephane Chapuisat and then pretended to bite Heiko Herrlich in the neck - all in one game.

You have been invited to a conference chat with OLI_THE_GOALIE.  Do you accept? n
You have been invited to a conference chat with OLI_THE_GOALIE.  Do you accept? n
You have been invited to a conference chat with OLI_THE_GOALIE.  Do you accept? y

OLI_THE_GOALIE: WHy you did not accept the chat Michael Rensing?
SimplyGutRensing: it was a typo
OLI_THE_GOALIE: I have been watching you in the TV
OLI_THE_GOALIE: ANd I am quite displeased actualy!!!
OLI_THE_GOALIE: If you want to follow in the footsteps of OLI KAHN YOU MUST PLAY DIFFERENT
SimplyGutRensing: actually i have not given up a goal in 423 minutes of play
OLI_THE_GOALIE: FOOTBALL IS NOT A GAME
OLI_THE_GOALIE: You cannot just be PLAYING AROUND out there!!@
OLI_THE_GOALIE: I did not see you give to anyone a bite
SimplyGutRensing: i am trying to develop my own style
OLI_THE_GOALIE: YOu did not even take the knuckles and rub them into a mans head
OLI_THE_GOALIE: On a day in 1999 I achieved the most professional “trick of the hat” of all time:
OLI_THE_GOALIE: Kick, Bite, Grab An Ear
OLI_THE_GOALIE: DO YOU THINK I ENJOYED THIS???
SimplyGutRensing: so far we are undefeated without this antics
OLI_THE_GOALIE: UNdefeated, perhaps
OLI_THE_GOALIE: BUt also very decadent I think
SimplyGutRensing: i have to go practice
OLI_THE_GOALIE: Practice pummeling a mans stomach with your elbows?
SimplyGutRensing: no
OLI_THE_GOALIE: Raking the fingernails along a buttock like atiger??
SimplyGutRensing: no
OLI_THE_GOALIE: Implementing the Javanese FLying Squirrel??
SimplyGutRensing: i dont even know what that is
OLI_THE_GOALIE: >:0
OLI_THE_GOALIE: I have failed you as a teacher.
OLI_THE_GOALIE has kneed you in the eyeball.
SimplyGutRensing: owwwww
SimplyGutRensing: how is this even possible to do in a chat

Tags: sports, conference chat, football, raking the fingernails along a buttock like a tiger, fc bayern, oliver kahn, germany

“I truly believe that that’s going to take an individual that has testicular fortitude,” said [Indiana union president Paul Gipson]. “That’s exactly right. That’s what we gotta have.”

Clinton, standing behind Gipson, smiled sheepishly before breaking into a nervous laugh. Gipson continued by slamming unnamed “Gucci-wearing, latte-drinking, self-centered, egotistical people that have damaged our lifestyle,” before endorsing and introducing Clinton.

You have been invited to a conference chat with thatshillaryous1026, CaRvIlLaIn, and superdelegate1011806. Do you accept? Y

superdelegate1011806: i guess i’d have to hear it
CaRvIlLaIn: RAGIN’ CAJUN GONNA RAGE ALL OVER YUO
CaRvIlLaIn: YOU
superdelegate1011806: yeah, i really feel like you could do better than that, theme song-wise
thatshillaryous1026: welcome paul!
SteelWorkersLoc6787: Is this the Chat room?
CaRvIlLaIn: PAUL WHAT’S UP
thatshillaryous1026: congressman, this is paul gipson, president of the steelworkers local 6787
thatshillaryous1026: paul u can go ahead and tell the congressman about the needs of ur community
SteelWorkersLoc6787: My goodness, There’s a lot going on at once here.
10:14am
superdelegate1011806: um...?
thatshillaryous1026: give him some time
10:23am
superdelegate1011806: senator clinton, could you ask your supporter to type a bit faster please
SteelWorkersLoc6787: I would like to apologize in advance for my lack of Computer Knowledge, It is a subject Blue-Collar America does not Tend to be Familiar With.

superdelegate1011806 has been censored by the chat administrator.
superdelegate1011806: i can’t f-ing believe you took 23 minutes of our time to type that\
CaRvIlLaIn: PAUL YOU MAY WANT TO CUT TO THE CHASE
thatshillaryous1026: paul maybe ur niece can type 4 u or sometihng
10:37am
SteelWorkersLoc6787: Okay, I’ll get my niece, You wait right here.
SteelWorkersLoc6787 has left the conference chat.
superdelegate1011806: wtf
superdelegate1011806: i didn’t know people like that even existed anymore
CaRvIlLaIn: HE DOES SEEM PRETTY OUT OF IT
SteelWorkersLoc6787 has entered the conference chat.
SteelWorkersLoc6787: Hilary Clinton has the tisticuler forited to stand up too egotesticle latte drnikers
superdelegate1011806: what does that even mean?
CaRvIlLaIn: CAN WE GET AN OLDER NIECE
thatshillaryous1026: it means i am not an elitist??
CaRvIlLaIn: WITH BETTER SPELLING MAYBE
superdelegate1011806: i’m drinking a latte right now
superdelegate1011806: i fail to see how lattes denote egotism
thatshillaryous1026: teh main thing is, i have balls
superdelegate1011806: i have to tell you that this sort of knee-jerk cultural stereotyping does very little for me
SteelWorkersLoc6787: Every time a liberal drinks a latte, We loose 400 jobs
thatshillaryous1026: the american people understand that i have more balls than any other candidate
superdelegate1011806: again, wtf
CaRvIlLaIn: SHE HASN’T SLEPT IN LIKE FOUR DAYS
CaRvIlLaIn: GIVE HER A BREAK
CaRvIlLaIn: AND ALSO YOUR VOTE
superdelegate1011806: sen. clinton.
superdelegate1011806: i have to go
superdelegate1011806: maybe we can talk later?
thatshillaryous1027: barack = no balls
CaRvIlLaIn: YES, LEAVE NOW PLEASE
superdelegate1011806 has left the conference chat.

SteelWorkersLoc6787: Itallian fashion Designers keep comming to teh Steel mill and pnuching everyone in the Face
SteelWorkersLoc6787: Many people dont know, However Barack Obama is secretly Fashion Maven Donatella Versace
SteelWorkersLoc6787: So selfish

Tags: politics, barack obama, conference chat, hillary clinton, blue-collar america, latte, balls

The Boss backed Barack Obama Wednesday, possibly giving the current Democratic front-runner some street cred—at least among Bruce fans.
...
Not to be outdone by the singer’s support for Obama, Clinton announced an endorsement of her own Wednesday from salsa king Willie Colón.

You have been invited to a conference chat with superdelegate1011806 and Barack_Obama. Do you accept? y

superdelegate1011806: but most of the time i feel like clarence just needs to chill out
superdelegate1011806: what!
Barack_Obama: Welcome, Bruce.
superdelegate1011806 has been censored by the chat administrator.
BruceTheBossSpringst:  Whats happening !!!!
superdelegate1011806: you didnt f-ing tell me you invited f-ing bruce springfuck to THIS CHAT
BruceTheBossSpringst: Were you talkin trash on my man Clarence !!!!!
Barack_Obama: Ha, ha, ha, ha!  Now, Bruce, we’re all entitled to our own musical opinions.
Barack_Obama: However, concerning policy and leadership, I think some debate might be fruitful.
Barack_Obama: Congressman, I understand you intend to cast your vote for Senator Clinton.
Barack_Obama: Perhaps the endorsement of Bruce Springsteen, an icon of modern Americana, will persuade you to choose otherwise.
BruceTheBossSpringst:  CLarence will kick YOURE BUTT ROTFL !!!!!
superdelegate1011806: barack, i respect what you’re trying to do
superdelegate1011806: and my mind certainly hasn’t been made up yet
BruceTheBossSpringst:  EVERYBODYS GOT A HUNGY HEART !!!
superdelegate1011806: but i want to give a fair hearing to both sides
superdelegate1011806: um… could you ask bruce not to do that
Barack_Obama: Bruce, I’m not sure it helps my cause for you to quote your own song lyrics in all capital letters.
BruceTheBossSpringst: WHy doesnt the superdelgate tell me that to my face !!!!!!!
BruceTheBossSpringst: Im KIDDING !!!!!
superdelegate1011806: yes.
Barack_Obama: Well, I appreciate your open-mindedness, Congressman.  I suppose we’ll be on our way, then.
thatshillaryous1026 has entered the conference chat.
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON has entered the conference chat.
thatshillaryous1026: i thought id find u here
thatshillaryous1026: willie!  hit it!
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON: CHA CHA CHA, CHA CHA CHA
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON: MI TORTUGA ES LIMPIA
superdelegate1011806: hillary
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON: DONDE ESTA EL AUTOBUS… EL AUTOBUS DE MI CORAZON
superdelegate1011806: not ideal timing
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON: ...DE MI CORAZO-O-O-O-ON
Barack_Obama:  My goodness, this is awkward.
thatshillaryous1026: wtf is barack doing here
BruceTheBossSpringst: This guy is prety good !!!!
BruceTheBossSpringst: BUT NOT AS GOOD AS TEH BOSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TheEStreetBand has entered the conference chat.
TheEStreetBand is performing “I’m on Fire.”
BruceTheBossSpringst: Hey little girl !!!!
BruceTheBossSpringst: Is your daddy home !!!
superdelegate1011806: this is ridiculous
superdelegate1011806: i’m getting out of here
superdelegate1011806 has left the conference chat.
Barack_Obama: Yes, this doesn’t seem headed anywhere good.
thatshillaryous1026: agreed
Barack_Obama has left the conference chat.
thatshillaryous1027 has left the conference chat.

BruceTheBossSpringst: I got a bad desire !!!!!
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON: YO-O-O-O-O ESTOY EN FUEGO
BruceTheBossSpringst: Huh !!!!!???
SALSAKINGWILLIECOLON: I AM A BIG FAN, BELIEVE ME

Tags: politics, barack obama, conference chat, hillary clinton, willie colon, salsa, bruce springsteen, americana

Condoleezza Rice has played down mounting speculation that she was seeking to be John McCain’s running mate. But the US secretary of state failed to stop the rumours in Washington that she is interested in the vice-presidency.

Dan Senor, a Republican strategist and former spokesman for the Coalition Provisional Authority in Iraq, set off the rumours by claiming during a television interview on Sunday that “Condi Rice has been actively, actually in recent weeks, campaigning for this”.

She attended a recent meeting hosted by Grover Norquist, the chairman of Americans for Tax Reform and a leading conservative figure, where she was asked about the vice-presidency. Accounts by those present said she did not offer a flat denial.

You have been invited to a conference chat with dAn.SeNoR and GardenGrover. Do you accept? Y
dAn.SeNoR: hi condi.
GardenGrover: Condi… how’s it going…
Condi1114:  HELLO
Condi1114:  ITS GOING GREAT THANKS 4 ASKING
GardenGrover: That’s nice…
dAn.SeNoR: condi, we’ve decided to be proactive
Condi1114:  CAN I JUST JUMP IN REAL QUICK & ASK GROVER 2 STOP W/ THE ELLIPSES
dAn.SeNoR: and put an end to all this vp speculation
Condi1114:  THEYRE REALLY CREEPING ME OUT
GardenGrover:  I didn’t even notice I was doing them…
dAn.SeNoR: uh
Condi1114: UR STILL DOING THEM
GardenGrover:  Wow, it’s like this involuntary… reflex…
Condi1114: OMG STOP
dAn.SeNoR: i can’t tell if you’re being serious or not
GardenGrover:  I’m being totally serious....
dAn.SeNoR: uh
dAn.SeNoR: still can’t tell if this is serious
Condi1114: I DONT SEE HOW THAT COULD B INVOLUNTARY
dAn.SeNoR: so, condi, we wanted to give you this chance to talk with a certain someone
dAn.SeNoR: and see how much you have in common
Condi1114: UR SUCH A CREEP I LOVE IT!!!
Raising_McCain has entered the conference chat.
Raising_McCain: JOHN MCCAIN IN TEH HOUSE
Condi1114: LOL
Raising_McCain: CONDI LETS TALK VEEP
Condi1114: JOHN IM FLATTERED BUT IM NOT SURE THIS IS THE RIGHT STEP 4 ME
Raising_McCain: WHAT
Raising_McCain: GODDAMIT I THOUGHT YOU GUYS SAID SHE WAS TOTALY DOWN
dAn.SeNoR: condi, wtf
GardenGrover: You said you wouldn’t deny that you were interested…
GardenGrover: (you coy vixen...)
Condi1114: EW GROVER STOP IT
Condi1114: I SAID I WAS 98% SURE I WASNT INTERESTED
Condi1114: & THE OTHER 2% WAS ALSO PRETTY SURE
Raising_McCain: WHAT THE HELL YOU GUYS
dAn.SeNoR: thanks a lot, grover
dAn.SeNoR: now we look like morons
GardenGrover: She still hasn’t firmly denied that she’s interested…
dAn.SeNoR has left the conference chat.
GardenGrover: ...
GardenGrover has left the conference chat.
Condi1114: GOD HE CREEPS ME OUT
RaisingMcCain: TELL ME ABOUT IT
Condi1114: U KNOW JOHN
Condi1114: WE DISAGREE ON A BUNCH OF BASIC POLICY QUESTIONS
Condi1114: & I REPRESENT AN ADMINISTRATION U WOULD LOVE 2 ESTABLISH A CLEAN BREAK FROM
Condi1114: BUT THERES SOMETHING ABOUT UR STYLE
Condi1114: THAT REMINDS ME OF MYSELF
Condi1114: I CANT QUITE ARTICULATE WHAT IT IS
RaisingMcCain: I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THE SAME TIHNG
RaisingMcCain: YEAH WHAT IS IT
Condi1114: I DONT KNOW

RaisingMcCain: LOL
Condi1114: LOL!!!
RaisingMcCain: OMG WE JUST SHARED A LOL

Tags: politics, john mccain, conference chat, condoleezza rice, creepy ellipsis use, grover norquist, dan senor

After the presidential hopeful walked away, [quality inspector Carolyn] Davis let out a “Whoo!” and fanned herself.
“It got hot in here. He ain’t bad looking either,” she told your pooler.

During the 25-minute tour, Obama called a woman “sweetie,” and thanked her in Spanish, then told another woman who let him know she is from Thailand, “I love Thai food.”

But Obama lavished compliments on dancewear manufacturer Marisa Cerveris, who gave him a black and pink leotard for [his daughters] Malia and Sasha, explaining she was once in the New York City ballet.
“You look like you might be a dancer,” Obama told her, later adding: “You’re big time.”

You have been invited to the “OBAMA 4/1/08 STRATEGY SESSION” conference chat with daxelrod and PLOUFFE_DADDY.  Do you accept? y
Barack_Obama: Hello, advisers.
daxelrod: whats crackin barack
PLOUFFE_DADDY: BARIZZLE
daxelrod: barackin tha vote
PLOUFFE_DADDY: OBAMARAMA
Barack_Obama: Indeed!
daxelrod: barack my world
PLOUFFE_DADDY: OBAMA-GYN
daxelrod: third barack from the sun
daxelrod: plouffe what the hell does that mean
PLOUFFE_DADDY: OB-GYN-AMA
Barack_Obama: That one doesn’t so much work for me.
PLOUFFE_DADDY: IT MEANS YOURE A P-I-M-P
PLOUFFE_DADDY: GETTIN ALL UP INTO WOMENS PRIVATE AREAZ
daxelrod: no u didnt!!!!!!!
Barack_Obama: Cease and desist, Plouffe!
Barack_Obama: Ha ha ha ha.
PLOUFFE_DADDY: SERIOUSLY THO
PLOUFFE_DADDY: GETTIN DOWN TO BIZNESS
daxelrod: barack weve conduted a bunch of focus groups
daxelrod: 2 figure out how 2 close the gap among women age 25-49
Barack_Obama: I’m all ears!
PLOUFFE_DADDY: THE RESULTS MAY SURPRISE YOU
daxelrod: guess what we found
Barack_Obama: Hmmm… I’m going to guess they respond most strongly to an emphasis on consensus-building.
daxelrod: no they dont give a shit about that
Barack_Obama: Is it health care? Do they react to our discussion of health care?
PLOUFFE_DADDY: HELL NO
PLOUFFE_DADDY: WOMEN DONT CARE ABOUT POLICY
PLOUFFE_DADDY: THEYRE WACK LIKE THAT
daxelrod: it turns out they only respond to one thing
daxelrod: smoothness
Barack_Obama: “Smoothness”?
PLOUFFE_DADDY: REMEBER WHEN I SAID YOU WERE A PIMP
PLOUFFE_DADDY: YOU GOTTA START TALKIN PIMP TALK
daxelrod: tell individual women theyre goodlookin
daxelrod: get ur mack on
Barack_Obama: I don’t know, Davids. I don’t want to come off as louche.
daxelrod: example: say a lady is from thailand
daxelrod: then u say, oh what a coincidence…
daxelrod: i love thai food
PLOUFFE_DADDY: WHAT THE HELL IS LUCHE
daxelrod: bottom line, u got 2 make women feel tha heat
daxelrod: u do that, pennsylvanias in tha bag
PLOUFFE_DADDY: PENSYLVANIA WOMEN ARE SLUTTY
Barack_Obama: Well… if the focus groups are pointing that way, I guess we should give it a shot.
Barack_Obama: I have to go appear at a factory in Allentown—I’ll give this “smooth” thing a try there?
Barack_Obama: Thanks for the advice, Davids.
daxelrod: do ittt
PLOUFFE_DADDY: BIG PIMPIN
Barack_Obama has left the conference chat.

daxelrod: well played
daxelrod: sickest april fools prank eva

Tags: politics, barack obama, conference chat, david plouffe, david axelrod, sickest april fools prank eva

History says [Mavericks forward Dirk] Nowitzki will actually rebound faster than anyone who saw the footage would dare imagine … as long as the damage is restricted to the ankle area. He’s done it so many times that he makes you think he has bionic ankles, with one theory in Mavsland suggesting that Nowitzki—thanks to years of countless deep-knee bends and other unorthodox exercises with his German mentor Holger Geschwindner—can play through ankle sprains so easily because of his world-class flexibility.

HolgerGeschwindner912 and allyoucaneatschrempf have invited you to a conference chat. Do you accept? y
HolgerGeschwindner912: Dirk.
HolgerGeschwindner912: My child.
heart_of_dirkne$$: wazzup !!!!
heart_of_dirkne$$: h 2 tha g repre$ent
heart_of_dirkne$$: detlef in tha hou$e, i see u
allyoucaneatschrempf: HELLO DIRK
HolgerGeschwindner912: In a shaded recess of the Black Forest I discovered you.
HolgerGeschwindner912: With a father’s discipline and a mother’s tender love did I mold you.
HolgerGeschwindner912: Your arabesques were once the envy of the civilized world, Dirk.
HolgerGeschwindner912: Your perfect turnout, your fifth position, your plié.
HolgerGeschwindner912: And the deep-knee bends.
HolgerGeschwindner912: Each more exquisite than the last.
heart_of_dirkne$$: do this rel8 2 how my ankle b all bu$ted up
heart_of_dirkne$$: kuz that b relatively $tr8forwurd
HolgerGeschwindner912: Dirk, my perfect Teutonic specimen.
HolgerGeschwindner912: What have they done to you?
heart_of_dirkne$$: 2tonik kronik LOL
heart_of_dirkne$$: naw we wuz ju$t $tr8 ballin
HolgerGeschwindner912: What?
heart_of_dirkne$$: sum punk-a$$ boxt me out
heart_of_dirkne$$: i wuz all, DAMM
allyoucaneatschrempf: I DO NOT UNEDRSTAND THIS “$tr8 ballin”
heart_of_dirkne$$: N
heart_of_dirkne$$: it$ takin u a long-a$$ time 2 type btw
HolgerGeschwindner912: Why are you intentionally misspelling your words, Dirk?
heart_of_dirkne$$: ...
heart_of_dirkne$$: str8 ballin
heart_of_dirkne$$: doktor tolt me my ankle wuz like krazy $trong
heart_of_dirkne$$: on akkount of all tha ballet $h!t
allyoucaneatschrempf: I HAD SIMLAR EXPERIENCE
allyoucaneatschrempf: CAN WE SPEAK GERMN NOW
HolgerGeschwindner912: Dirk.
HolgerGeschwindner912: It is not too late for you.
heart_of_dirkne$$: h geezy
heart_of_dirkne$$: if u about 2 invoke swan lake agin
HolgerGeschwindner912: The Munich Ballet has not yet cast the lead for this year’s performance of “Swan Lake.”
heart_of_dirkne$$: i promiss u i will bounce wit tha qwikne$$
heart_of_dirkne$$: PEACE IN THA MIDLE EA$T !!!!
heart_of_dirkness has left the conference chat.
HolgerGeschwindner912: Dirk!  I command you not to bounce!
HolgerGeschwindner912: Sigh.
HolgerGeschwindner912: I think we’ve lost him, Detlef.

allyoucaneatschrempf: MAYBE NEXT TIME WE DO NOT SPEAK STUPID ENGILSH??
allyoucaneatschrempf: I’M NOT SURE WHY YOU KEEP INVITED ME TO THESE ANYHOW

Tags: sports, conference chat, basketball, detlef schrempf, holger geschwindner, ballet, dirk nowitzki

Many Iraqi politicians are closely monitoring the American presidential race, and some said the visit bolstered their belief that if Mr. McCain, of Arizona, succeeded President Bush in the November election, the American military would have a large presence in Iraq for a very long time.
...
Mrs. Clinton’s advisers said she would also take on Mr. McCain for a recent comment in which he said American troops could be in the country for 100 years.

Mr. McCain has defended that comment, made at a town hall meeting earlier this year in New Hampshire, arguing that he did not mean they would still be fighting but simply maintaining a presence in the region.

You have been invited to a conference chat with Raising_McCain. Do you accept? y
Raising_McCain: HILARY
Raising_McCain: HOWS TEH CAMPAIGN
thatshillaryous1026: its going well
Raising_McCain: THATS NICE
Raising_McCain: LETS STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH
thatshillaryous1026: lol
thatshillaryous1026: and lets start just beating bush!!!!
thatshillaryous1026: ;)
thatshillaryous1026: like president bush
Raising_McCain: UM, SURE
thatshillaryous1026: lol…
Raising_McCain: ...
Raising_McCain: YOUR ADVISERS NEED TO STOP TALKING TRASH
thatshillaryous1026: whats that supposed 2 mean
Raising_McCain: THE “100 YEARS” THING
Raising_McCain: AMERICAN TROOPS, IRAQ, 100 YEARS, BLAH BLAH
thatshillaryous1026: oh that
Raising_McCain: THE POINT IS:
Raising_McCain: THERES A SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FIGHTING AND MAINTAINING A PRESENCE
Raising_McCain: LIKE THE TROOPS COULD BE IN IRAQ JUST SORT OF HELPING OUT
thatshillaryous1026: umm
Raising_McCain: YOU KNOW
Raising_McCain: LIKE LEGISLATING CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM FOR IRAQIS
Raising_McCain: ADVOCATING STATES RIGHTS ON CONTROVERSIAL SOCIAL ISSUES
thatshillaryous1026: that really doesnt sound like our troops
thatshillaryous1026: theyre better @ shooting stuff
thatshillaryous1026: actully that sounds more like u!!! rotfl
Raising_McCain: SETTING UP A REALLY GOOD BARBEQUE SHACK
Raising_McCain: LIKE, REALLY GOOD
thatshillaryous1026: waaaaait a minute
thatshillaryous1026: omg
thatshillaryous1026: john u totally r going 2 move 2 iraq!!
Raising_McCain: WHAT
thatshillaryous1026: like for good!!
Raising_McCain: NO
thatshillaryous1026: it all makes sense!!!
Raising_McCain: I AM DEFINATELY NOT PLANNING A COUP WITH THE AID OF HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF LOYAL AMERICAN TROOPS
Raising_McCain: IF THATS WHAT YOURE SUGGESTING
thatshillaryous1026: its “definitely”
Raising_McCain: WHATEVER
thatshillaryous1026: didnt u even buy a house there???
Raising_McCain: ITS A VACATION HOME
thatshillaryous1026: its in like downtown baghdad
Raising_McCain: THE WARM CLIMATE SUSTAINS MY SCALY ECTOTHERMIC BODY
thatshillaryous1026: ...
thatshillaryous1026: dick cheney are u sitting behind john right now telling him what 2 type
Raising_McCain has been censored by the Chat Administrator.
Raising_McCain has been censored by the Chat Administrator.
Raising_McCain has been censored by the Chat Administrator.
thatshillaryous1026: stop typing swears
Raising_McCain: POOOOOPP
Raising_McCain has been censored by the Chat Administrator.
Raising_McCain has been censored by the Chat Administrator.
Raising_McCain: I HAVE TO GO LEGISTLATE SOMETHING OKAY BYE
Raising_McCain has left the conference chat.
thatshillaryous1026: john please dont go
thatshillaryous1026: ur…
thatshillaryous1026: ur my only freind

thatshillaryous1026: barack still wont play teh appropriations bill drinking game with me

Tags: politics, john mccain, george w. bush, conference chat, hillary clinton, iraq, war, a really good barbeque shack

Although Mrs. Clinton has been in the Senate just four more years than Mr. Obama, she has been on the Armed Services Committee and traveled around the world with Mr. McCain.
Examples of their mutual respect typically include a tale of holding a vodka-drinking contest in Estonia. Such a celebration may have been unlikely to happen with Mr. Obama, who on a trip to Russia in 2005 asked that his shot glass be filled with water.

You have been invited to a conference chat with Raising_McCain and thatshillaryous1026. Do you accept? y
Raising_McCain: BARRACK
Raising_McCain: WHATS UP
thatshillaryous1026: lol
thatshillaryous1026: u just called him “barrack”
thatshillaryous1026: like from teh army
BarackObama: Good evening, Senators.
Raising_McCain: SO YOURE PROBABLY WONDERINIG WHY WE ASKED YOU HERE
BarackObama: John, are you aware that your caps lock is on?
Raising_McCain: WE WANT TO DISCUSS THE UPCOMING APPROPRATIONS BILL
Raising_McCain: YES IM AWARE
thatshillaryous1026: rotfl
thatshillaryous1026: i seriously <3 u guys
BarackObama: I believe I have already conveyed my stance on the Supplemental Appropriations Bill to you.
Raising_McCain: WELL LET ME CONVEY MY STNACE TO YOU
Raising_McCain: POOOOOPP
thatshillaryous1026: >:0
thatshillaryous1026: no u didnt
thatshillaryous1026: john ur hamared
BarackObama: Perhaps I should convene with you at another time.
thatshillaryous1026: like dag hamarskjold LOL
Raising_McCain: JESUS HILLRAY
Raising_McCain: HOW ARE YOU SUCH A GODDAM NERD
thatshillaryous1026: barack stay
thatshillaryous1026: do some shots
BarackObama: I’m afraid I don’t have any alcohol at my immediate disposal.
Raising_McCain: GET SOME
BarackObama: Nor do I feel that it is professional to work on legislation while drunk.
BarackObama has left the conference chat.
thatshillaryous1026: everytime we use the word “appropriated” we have 2 do a shot
Raising_McCain: THE JOKE IS THAT ITS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE

Tags: politics, barack obama, john mccain, conference chat, hillary clinton, dag hamarskjold, estonia, appropriations bill drinking game

Speaking in an exclusive interview with CNN on the sidelines of the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, Karzai also reluctantly accepted his image as “a puppet of America.”

President_Karzai: noble taskmistress
President_Karzai: it grieves me to suggest this
Condi1114: WHATS UP
President_Karzai: i do not see how your latest directive advances the cause of stability in afghanistan
Condi1114: ARE WE GOING 2 HAVE 2 HAVE THAT TALK AGAIN
Condi1114 THE ONE ABOUT HOW U SHOULD STOP BEING A LITTLE B!TCH
President_Karzai: i am aware of the importance of not being “a little bitch”
President_Karzai: but employing our already limited security forces to festoon the iranian embassy with toilet paper
President_Karzai: seems like not a great idea somehow
Condi1114: LOL!!!!
Condi1114: DANCE, PUPPET
President_Karzai: sigh

President_Karzai: we are also perilously low on “charmin” as it is

Tags: politics, international relations, conference chat, condoleezza rice, afghanistan, hamid karzai