scranton, y’all
Mike Swiderski, 32, who builds houses in Scranton, took the day off to work for Obama, posting campaign signs around town. His girlfriend, accountant Jeanette Heal, voted for Clinton. “We fight about it all the time,” said Heal, 34, as she left her polling place at Fargione Auto Shop. “I made up my mind for Hillary sometime in the ’90s.”
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Other Important Decisions Jeanette Heal Made Permanently Sometime in the ’90s
Baby Names: Justin if it’s a boy, Britney if it’s a girl. (If it’s twins: OMIGOD SO CUTE.)
Career: Tie between Pop Superstar and Accountant. Both of those are totally awesome!!!
Foreign Policy: We should go back to Iraq.
Pension plan: None. This “World Wide Web” thing is really taking off! Investing it all in Pets.com.
Where I Will Be In 10 Years: SCRANTON, Y’ALL!!!
Favorite Drink: Captain Morgan and Crystal Pepsi.
There! All done. I’ll never have to think again.