albie and nelly
Dr. Wheeler was a young, impressionable professor in 1939 when [Niels] Bohr, the Danish physicist and his mentor, arrived in the United States aboard a ship from Denmark...Bohr had intended to spend the time arguing with Einstein about quantum theory, but “he spent more time talking to me than to Einstein,” Dr. Wheeler later recalled.
posted at
- stronger takes (0)
EXT
A sidewalk café, late afternoon.
ALBERT EINSTEIN sits alone at a table for two, fidgeting and checking his pocketwatch.
...
...
...
Still waiting. Starts moving his watch around like a spaceship and making whooshing noises with his mouth.
VOICE
Albie!
Albert stands to greet NIELS BOHR, Danish physicist and international playboy.
ALBERT
Hello, Dr. Bohr.
NIELS
Please, Albie, Dr. Bohr was my father! Call me Niels, or Nelly, all my friends do.
ALBERT
Okay, Niels.
NIELS
Grazie Mille, angelface. God, you are as cute as you are in pictures, and I love love love your hair. What product do you use?
ALBERT
What...product?
NIELS
Fine, don’t tell me you, you rascal! Anyhoot, I am so sorry that I’m late. I was just having the most interesting conversation with John Wheeler, do you know him? He is fantastic!
ALBERT
I do not know him.
NIELS
Oh my God! Well, YOUR loss, ha ha ha, because he is fantastic. And his loss too because you are fantastic, Albie, God I have got to get the two of you together, wait, LIGHTNING STRIKE!—What are you doing tonight? Go out with us! Oh, you simply must!
ALBERT
I...well, that sounds nice, Niels, thank you, but I was hoping to talk with you about—
NIELS
Fantastic! I’ll call him right now. Waiter!
NIELS waves over WAITER.
ALBERT
—quantum physics.
WAITER approaches table.
WAITER
Sir?
NIELS
Bring a telephone, darling, won’t you?
(mock stern)
And be quick about it, if you know what’s good for you!
(laughs and gooses the waiter)
I’m TEASING, I’m teasing!
WAITER exits.
NIELS (indicating waiter)
He’s fun, I like him.
ALBERT
Yes, he’s nice. Niels?
NIELS
Yes, darling?
ALBERT
(draws a deep breath, then all at once before he can get cut off)
, I know you aren’t in New York for very long and I would really like to ask your thoughts on what I think really could be a very interesting problem and certainly given the current situation in Germany might prove to be of international importance and—
WAITER enters, with a rotary telephone on a silver platter.
NIELS
There he is!
NIELS grabs the phone and begins dialing.
NIELS (CONT’D)
(sotto voce, to ALBERT)
I’m listening, go ahead, I’m listening.
ALBERT
I...well, I was just saying that what with everything that is going on in Germany it is really more important than ever that we—
NIELS
(into phone)
John-John?...ha ha, you guessed it, dollface! Guess who I’m with. No, guess!...No, guess!...no… no...no...waaaaaaaarmer...collllllllllder...waaaaaaaarmer...no...no ...no...ALBERT EINSTEIN, that’s who!...I know...I know…
(to Albert, hand covering mouthpiece of phone)
He says hi!
ALBERT
Hello.
NIELS
(into phone)
He says hi!...I know...I know...well that is a coincidence because he was just telling me what a big fan he is of you.
(ostentatiously winks at ALBERT)
Which is why I suggested that we all get together tonight and see what kind of trouble three sexy physicists can’t get caught up in in the big, bad city…
(laughs)
Oh, you are awful!...don’t talk so loud, Albie will hear you and be afraid to come out with us…
(laughs)
Well, where are you now? WHAT?! We’re at Central Park West and Fifty-ninth!...Yes!...Yes!...Well then get over here, you dazzler! ...oh, I don’t mind, bring her, the more the merrier!
(to Albert, covering mouthpiece)
You don’t mind do you, Albie?
ALBERT
Well, actually, Niels, I hate to be a stick in the mud, but…
NIELS
Great!
(into phone)
Well, hurry, then!...I’m timing you, I’m timing you! Don’t fall into any impossibly dense collapsed stars from which not even light can escape!...okay, bye, bye!
Hangs up phone.
(to ALBERT)
God, this is exciting!
(standing)
I need to run to the little boys’ room and then I want to hear all about everything, okay?
ALBERT
Okay. Okay, sure.
NIELS exits. ALBERT sits, waiting. Starts playing spaceship with his pocketwatch again.