Tonight, Senator [Barack] Obama wins the endorsement of the nation’s only Hispanic governor, Bill Richardson. Is Obama pandering to ethnocentric special interests again? We’ll have complete coverage.

Barack Obama’s secret lair.

Manservant: El senator japonés esta aquí, Señor Barack.
Obama, rising hastily: Senator! Welcome, welcome. Please do me the honor of taking a seat… in this chair.
Senator Daniel Inouye (D-Hi.): Why, thank you.
Obama: This Isamu Noguchi cedar chair.
Inouye: It is both fragrant and comfortable.
Obama: The comfort of my guests is my singular concern.
Obama, to himself, sotto voce: Particularly when my guest is the only senator of Japanese-American descent.
Obama, to manservant: ¡El pescado crudo, Cudiberto!
Manservant: Sí, Señor Obama.
Obama: Cudiberto will return shortly with some… refreshments. In the meantime, Senator, I have respectfully summoned you here to discuss the delicate matter of your hiji.
Inouye: My what?
Obama: Your… hiji.
Inouye: My… “elbow”?
Obama: [foreign expletive]
Obama: INTERN.
Intern enters, looking panicked.
Obama: THE JAPANESE WORD FOR “ENDORSEMENT” IS NOT “HIJI.”
Obama: YOU HAVE CAUSED OUR GUEST UNTOLD EMBARRASSMENT.
Intern, blubbering hysterically: Master Obama, I am so sorry… please forgive me, Mast—
Inouye: I believe he meant “shiji.”
Obama, icily: Do you hear that? The word is “shiji.” You have disgraced us all.
Obama: YOU MUST LEAVE THE OBAMA CAMPAIGN AND NEVER RETURN.
Intern, shakily composing himself: M-Master Obama, I beg permission to f-fall upon the harakiri sword.
Obama spits on the ground.
Obama: You shall not dishonor the harakiri sword with your coward’s blood.
Inouye: My word!  You certainly seem committed to the interests of the Japanese-American demographic.
Inouye, with a sudden gleam in his eye: This pleases me greatly.
Obama, kowtowing: Your words of praise ring in my ears like a thousand—
Manservant, bearing a plate of fugu: Señor Barack! Lou Dobbs esta aquí!!!
Lou Dobbs, Wolf Blitzer, and several cameramen burst into the room.
Obama: Dammit.
Dobbs: You’ve pandered ethnocentrically for the last time, Obama.  You should have known better than to—
Blitzer: BLITZ’D!™!!
Dobbs:
Obama:
Inouye:
Blitzer: You just got Blitz’d!™.
Blitzer: By Wolf Blitzer.
Dobbs: I would really like it if you stopped doing that.

Tags: politics, barack obama, bill richardson, wolf blitzer, daniel inouye, isamu noguchi, lou dobbs

But [Bill] Richardson stopped returning Mr. Clinton’s calls days ago, Mr. Clinton’s aides said. And as of Friday, Mr. Richardson said, he had yet to pick up the phone to tell Mr. Clinton of his decision [to endorse Barack Obama].

The reaction of some of Mr. Clinton’s allies suggests that might have been a wise decision. “An act of betrayal,” said James Carville, an adviser to Mrs. Clinton and a friend of Mr. Clinton.

“Mr. Richardson’s endorsement came right around the anniversary of the day when Judas sold out for 30 pieces of silver, so I think the timing is appropriate, if ironic,” Mr. Carville said, referring to Holy Week.

From the Desk of Jimmy Carville:

adam nagurney (sp?) from NYT— call back bef. 3pm

FIRST: march 21— any good parallels (esp. betrayals)?

equinox?

1413 - Henry V becomes King of England.
Henry V:
1. reckless youth
2. matured, gained power
3. with help of fat, jolly friend…
4. let’s not go there.

1556 - In Oxford, Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas Cranmer is burned at the stake.
R. is burning H. at stake?
media is burning H. at stake?
**probably bad to invite witch comparison**

1800 - With the church leadership driven out of Rome during an armed conflict, Pius VII is crowned Pope in Venice with a temporary papal tiara made of papier-mâché.
“R. has only crowned pious O. with a temporary paper mache tiara”
- “pious” has neg. connotation!!  gets CLEVER points
- altho, don’t think ppl will get the ref.
- but they might check wikipedia ? ++ too much to hope for ++

RAGIN’ CAJUN RAJIN’ CAJUN
ask interns: WHY don’t I have a theme song? 

1844 - The original date predicted by William Miller for the return of Christ.
ALSO STAY AWAY.
enough O.-jesus comparisons as is…
altho do we know when judas sold out jesus?
INTERNS: look this up

1933 - Construction of Dachau, the first Nazi Germany concentration camp, is completed.
R.’s endorsement is the first step towards
Persecuting H. is like
The personality cult of O. has claimed anoth
STAY THE HELL AWAY.

HE’S RAAAAGEY
HE’S CAAAAGEY
RAGIN’ CAJUN GONNA RAGE ALL OVER YOU!!!!
short, sweet—*see if interns know how chords work*

1980 - On the season finale of the soap opera Dallas, the infamous character J.R. Ewing is shot by an unseen assailant.
H. has been SHOT IN THE HEART by R.’s betrayal!
...
use as last resort maybe
NOTE: see if Larry Hagman will endorse H.? (friends with Nicholson, right?)

1999 - Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones become the first to circumnavigate the Earth in a hot air balloon.
how was this not done wayyyy earlier!?
—see if can meet with one of these guys when cmpgn over.

Tags: politics, barack obama, hillary clinton, bill richardson, irony, betrayal, james carville, theme songs