money and contacts
“There are expats everywhere tapping into the city’s thriving cultural and arts scene,” said Grant C. Dull, Zizek’s founder, who also runs the popular bilingual Web guide WhatsUpBuenosAires.com. “And it’s not backpacker types, but people with money and contacts.”
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At Zizek, a dance party popular among expats.
GRANT C. DULL, FOUNDER OF ZIZEK: Haha, Alberto, check this out…
ALBERTO: Sí, Señor Grant?
GRANT: Get a load of this guy.
ALBERTO: Wheech guy, Señor Grant?
GRANT: This guy over here that just walked in.
ALBERTO: Thees guy with the beeg backpack, Señor Grant?
GRANT: Sí, Alberto, him. Look how thick his stupid glasses are. What a painfully obvious method of vision correction. What are those—bifocals?
ALBERTO: ...
GRANT: Watch, he’s trying to order something… Check this out… Watch, he’s going to try to pay for it.
ALBERTO: But what are he pulling out of hees pocket, Señor Grant? Are those, como se dice… ¿Hamsters?
GRANT: That’s right, Alberto, effing backpacker is trying to pay with effing hamsters. (YELLS) Hey, backpacker freak, why don’t you get out of here with your hamsters and your glasses? The only expats we want in here are people with money and contacts!… Yeah! Yeah, you, ya creep! (TO ALBERTO) Alberto, show this bespectacled rodent-laden backpacker the door!
Moments later.
ALBERTO: I have taken care of thees backpacker, Señor Grant.
GRANT: Excellent work, Alberto. [Spots a girl with binoculars strapped to her face trying to shove waffles into the coin slot of a cigarette machine, and a guy who has had Lasik surgery trying to proposition a prostitute with macramé doilies.] (TO ALBERTO, GRIMLY: ) You know what to do, Alberto…
ALBERTO: Take care of thees assholes, Señor Grant?
GRANT: Exactly. And then make a sign that strictly delineates our “money and contacts only” policy.
ALBERTO: Sí, Señor Grant.
GRANT: [Drinks absinthe.]