At one point on the video, an employee shouts to an investigator, “Hurt ‘em! There’s nobody works for PETA out here. You know who PETA is?”

The undercover PETA investigator replies that he’s heard of the group.

“I hate them. These (expletives) deserve to be hurt. Hurt, I say!,” the employee yells as he hits a sow with a metal rod. “Hurt! Hurt! Hurt! Hurt! ... Take out your frustrations on ‘em.” He encourages the investigator to pretend that one of the pigs scared off a voluptuous and willing 17- or 18-year-old girl, and then beat the pig for it.

A farmhouse near Des Moines.

Cleosandra: La la la! La la la la la la, la la!!
Rufus, a farmhand: um
Rufus: pardon me, ma’am.  can i ask what you’re doin’ here
Cleosandra: Oh don’t you mind me none!  I ain’t but visitin’ a pig farm, as per my habitual practice
Rufus: uh… hope you don’t mind my queryin’ along these lines
Rufus: but how old are you
Cleosandra: I reckon seventeen or eighteen.
Rufus: are you kiddin’ me
Rufus: kin i just axe you what two adjectives you’d be most likely to ascribe to yourself
Cleosandra: Voluptuous…
Cleosandra, leaning in close, speaking huskily: ...and willin’.
Rufus: aw hell no
Rufus: this are the greatest thing what have ever happened in the personal history of rufus
Cleosandra: Now let’s try’n resolve this here overabundance of clothinWHAT IN THE HECK
Pig: HEY RUFUS CAN I GET YOUR OPINION OF THIS TARANTULA COSTUME IS IT SCARY OR WHAT
Cleosandra: SWEET JAZUS THAT IS ONE OUT-SIZABLE TARANTULA
Rufus: WHAT IN THE DANGIT
Pig: LET ME KNOW IF THE FANGS ARE FOAMY ENOUGH, I FEEL LIKE THE COSTUME GUY SHORTCHANGED US ON THE POISONOUS FOAM
Cleosandra runs off down the road, never to be seen again.
Pig:
Rufus:
Pig: I figured if we have to put up with all this fucking irrational bullshit abuse, we might at least get to earn it a little.

Tags: agriculture, voluptuous and willing 17- or 18-year-old girls, pigs, abuse, peta, hormel

Imagine a vat of liquid cow manure covering the area of five football fields and 33 feet deep. Meet California’s most alternative new energy.

On a dairy farm in the Golden State’s agricultural heartland, utility PG&E Corp began on Tuesday producing natural gas derived from manure, in what it hopes will be a new way to power homes with renewable, if not entirely clean, energy.

hey sammy,
here’s my list of pitches to the higher-ups to continue the whole “recycling” and “discovering the hidden potential of discarded blah blah blah.” i think some of these are pretty solid, but let me know if you have any feedback, and which ones we should focus on! 

-rodge

hair sweepings from barber shops >> burn for fuel
Listen, Roger, I know McMurty said we should look at some “alternative sources” for our recycling ideas, and not to shy away from things that might seem “gross,” but have you ever smelled burning hair?  Additionally, I’m really not sure how much energy you’d get out of it.

those packages of silica gel you get in new purses and shoes >> bean bag chairs. also wouldn’t this be a great dehumidifier!
It would be a decent dehumidifer until the crystals pulled in enough moisture from the air, at which point I believe it would solidify into an enormous breast implant.  Also, this doesn’t really seem implementable on a large scale.

fingernail clippings >> burn for fuel
Again, I think you may have taken it too much to heart when McMurty said not to worry about “ideas that may sound gross.” And now I really regret agreeing to look this over for you right after lunch.

old paper towel tubes >> hamster habit trails!
Isn’t this kind of like making kids’ playgrounds out of chocolate or something?  You’re probably better off burning these for fuel, to be quite honest. (Which is also not a good idea.  Please do not counterpropose that we burn paper towel tubes for fuel.  In fact, please stop recommending that we burn things for fuel altogether.)

cow manure >> burn for fuel
I take that back. While I’m not sure that burning is the best way to capitalize on the gasses trapped in manure, this is intriguing.  We’d have to get some good scientists on board to work through the process, make it efficient, and all that, but that’s doable.

irregular candies (the unsellable ones, like when the “m” doesn’t print right, you know?) >> melt down and mold into slides, dollhouses, etc. for new toy line
This is a fantastic idea, Roger.  Why don’t you pitch this one, and let me handle the technical details of the manure scheme.  I think you should go first, to grab their attention—I wouldn’t want to bore them before you got the chance to really knock their socks off!

It is, as always, a great pleasure collaborating with you.

Best,
Sam

Tags: science, agriculture, energy, cows, manure