Rep. Carolyn Maloney, D-N.Y., asked Bernanke how he and Paulson came up with the $700 billion figure.

“It’s not science to figure out how much is going to be needed to stabilize the firms and the markets,” Bernanke said. “But there are various metrics one can use.”

NON-SCIENCE-HAVING BAILOUT METRICS: A PARTIAL LIST
by Ben Bernanke

Vodun Metric
Methodology: Daubed in the blood of their enemies, economists sacrifice goats to Nana Buluku, the all-powerful deity at the center of the complex West African cosmology known as Vodun; Vodun priest then interprets shapes drawn in a mud hillock
Resulting Bailout Figure: The dollar value of an unspecified quantity of plantains

Ben Bernanke’s Nine-Year-Old Son And Some Finger Paints Metric
Methodology: Economist’s nine-year-old son is given some finger paints and encouraged to paint any number at all
Resulting Bailout Figure: A house with a chimney, next to what appear to be two levitating dogs

Consultation of Leading Economists Metric
Methodology: Economists convene and, using economics, the formal study of how markets work, form a consensus on what bailout figure would be sufficient to stabilize markets
Resulting Bailout Fi
too much science!!! -ben

How Much Money Would Be Awesome To Have Metric
Methodology: Economists convene and determine how much money would be awesome to have
Resulting Bailout Figure: Seven hundred billion dollars

Tags: economics, bailout, ben bernanke, henry paulson, vodun, metrics, how much money would be awesome to have