Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton on Sunday dismissed criticism of her proposed summer gas tax ‘holiday’ as ‘elite opinion’ that reflects the views of economists, not ordinary Americans who drive a long way to work.

From the desk of Hillary Clinton

Dear fellow regular Americans,

Your pal Hillary Clinton here.  I’m just gonna cut to the chase, folks, cuz I know real, hardworking people like you n’ me don’t have time for a bunch of jibberjabber: y’all mighta heard that some “economists” are goin around badmouthing my plan for a summer gas tax holiday.  Apparently these economists think that jus because they studied “économics” or whatever they can go around telling us we all gotta spend more money on gas this summer.  Well, shoot, if yer like me ‘n Bill and yer fixin to head down to Boca this summer, or haulin over to Branson to catch Jimmy Buffett, you know that the LAST thing you want is to spend MORE money on gas this summer.  Heck no!  You wanna pay LESS.  Bill ‘n I unnerstand that.

And don’t think it stops there, yall, cause it DONT. Mr. Obama thinks we should rely on all sorts of “experts” to tell us what to do, and how to do it, and what long-term ramifications we might expect from one of several specific courses of action or relative inaction.  Well, NOT ME.  So without further to-do, here’s a list of some “expert” opinions and what REAL AMERICANS like you and me think about em:

“EXPERT” OPINION:  The complexities of the situation in Iraq mean that there are simply no quick fixes: whatever course America takes, Bush’s legacy in Iraq will pose a threat to American and global security for years to come.

US: Yeah, RIGHT.  Iraq SUCKS.  Yeah, RIGHT.  Iraq SUCKS.  Being over there SUCKS. Period.  So if being over there sucks, then alls we gotta do is STOP BEING OVER THERE.  Dang but that was easy!!

“EXPERT” OPINION: A healthy lifestyle is the key to a healthy life.  Exercising regularly, eating healthier foods in smaller quantities, and limiting intake of unhealthy foods such as fried chicken and milkshakes, all contribute to greatly improved physical fitness.

US: Translation:  Exercise is better than fried chicken and milkshakes!  R U frickin kidding me?! Can you BELIEVE these guys?  Look, dweebs: Exercise SUCKS.  Fried chicken and milkshakes TASTE AWESOME.  END OF STORY.

“EXPERT” OPINION:  A multimillionaire politician who poses as a populist during an election cycle by promising popular but obviously irresponsible policy and adopting various condescending “common man” postures such as shooting guns and drinking shots in a bar assumes that a few months of transparent pandering will somehow incite the electorate to overlook that same politician’s years and decades as a member of the very same group of “elites” which he or she so vehemently criticizes come election time.  This viewpoint has repeatedly been proven correct.

US:  ...And that’s exactly how come we gotta kick George W. Bush’s preppy butt straight outta the White House and get us REAL AMERICANS back in there.  Shoot, looks like fer once the experts are right about somethin!

HILLARY ’08, Y’ALL!

Luv,
Hillary

Tags: politics, barack obama, hillary clinton, exercise is better than fried chicken and milkshakes?!, jimmy buffett, gas tax