From Spain to New York, to Australia, Japan and Hawaii, jellyfish are becoming more numerous and more widespread, and they are showing up in places where they have rarely been seen before, scientists say. The faceless marauders are stinging children blithely bathing on summer vacations, forcing beaches to close and clogging fishing nets.

“These jellyfish near shore are a message the sea is sending us saying, ‘Look how badly you are treating me,’ ” said Dr. Josep-María Gili, a leading jellyfish expert.

A house in suburban Barcelona.

Bartomeu: This has been a most enjoyable study date, Carmesina.
Carmesina: Yes!  We have learned much.
Bartomeu: Please, permit me to drive you home.
Carmesina: Such chivalry!  I beg you, forgive the embarrassment of color that has sprung to my cheeks.
Bartomeu: The roses in your cheeks are like a thousand—NO. NO. PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT.
Carmesina: No, you must allow me to remove this mysterious slimy object from the hood of your caAAAIIEEEEE
Bartomeu: DAD.
Dr. Josep-María Gili, entering hastily: Mmmmm?
Carmesina: GGEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH
Bartomeu: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM.
Dr. Josep-María Gili: Oh my!  Look at this.  A deadly stinging jellyfish.
Carmesina: EEEEEOOOGGGGRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH
Bartomeu: Father. You must stop putting jellyfish on things.
Dr. Josep-María Gili: No, no.  You are confused.  This jellyfish on the hood of the family car is a message the car is sending us saying, “Look how badly you are treating me.”
Carmesina: eeeeeb.  eeeeeeeebb. eeeeeeeeeEEEEb,
Bartomeu: Three of my friends are in the hospital.
Dr. Josep-María Gili: Maybe they wouldn’t be if you would STOP GRINDING THE STUPID CLUTCH.

Tags: nature, spain, global warming, catalonia, josep-maría gili, cars, jellyfish